A girl, A boy, and a graveyard

Remember

Lucy POV
1264 Words

🎵Thought another chance to tell him off right to his face🎵

🎵And even though we barley know each other
It still hurts watching him fade away,
watching him fade away,
watching him fade away,
watching him fade away🎵
-Watching Him Fade Away by Mac DeMarco

We stood outside, in the still night air. It was summer so there wasn't much breeze. We sat down on a small bench I found.
"It's so nice to finally be outside again." Lockwood said again.
"Yeah, it's pretty isn't it?"
"Mhm. So.. Lucy?"
"Yeah?"
"What is this about? You seem.. I don't know, agitated. And when George and Holly came to see me, you left. You're not still mad at Holly are you?" I stared at him in shock. I didn't realise how bad his memory was till he said that.

"Lockwood.. why would I be mad at Holly?"
He chewed on his lip, thinking. "Well I'm not too sure. But I remember you rolling your eyes at everything she said so, why else would you not stay in my room with them? Even Kipps came in!" He smiled.

"Lockwood.." I didn't really know what to say, so I decided to say what I had been worrying about the whole day. "Lockwood, do you remember kissing me?"

Not exactly how I should have worded it, and I cringed hard as a startled look reached Lockwoods face.

"Lucy, if I was ever... over the line or-"
"Not like that! Ugh." I squeezed the bridge of my nose. "Lockwood. We are dating. Or well-" I cursed myself again, my brain was in pieces.
"Lucy," He put a warm thin hand on my leg and stared at me, "Take a breath. It's okay. Well, I'm a little bloody confused to be honest, but I'm sure you can explain it."

Yes he was right, I needed to collect myself to make it easier for him to understand. He had been in a coma for four days straight give him some credit, Lucy.

"Well it um..." I thought about it for a moment, trying to focus on the important bits. "It all started when- I suppose I don't really know when it started. But I was in denial for a long time. I think the first time I felt butterflies or whatever they tell you, you have to feel when you're in love, was when I sat in the library with you. On my first night at 35 Portland Row. And we talked about Lockwood and Company. And you promised me, it will be one of the biggest agencies in London, and you gave me your bloody smile. The megawatt one. And I remember I believed you, and that's when I was trapped."

He took a moment to think, the whole time he was nodding. "Oh. I'm sorry." He frowned.
"No. It's not a bad type of trapped, I would do anything to keep you, George, Holly and Kipps around. Do you... Do you remember that?"

I could hear my heart hammering away in my chest.

"Yea I do. I remember when you showed up, and I remember being so impressed by you, when me and George tested you. And I remember when you came to see me in the library and we spoke. But Lucy.. Uh." His face scrunched up in a kind of awkward expression, "I don't really know how to say this."
"No, no, no, don't say anything. I still need to try and get you to remember the rest of it." The words were spilling out of me, I was so happy he could remember that.

"Oh.. Okay." He smiled and sat back.
"For the rest of my time at Lockwood and Company, I lived in denial. The skull drove me crazy with all the 'Lockwood talks about you, Lockwood likes you.' talk. Until we went to Aickmere's. Do you remember that?" He shook his head, "Oh. Well um, I'm sure you will soon. But I had fallen through this hole, into an abandoned prison. And this apparition floated towards me, and it was you. And you said you died, trying to save me. And-" I swallowed thickly trying to ignore the Fetch's voice echoing in my brain, "And I cried. I cried so much. And I think that's when I realised, I never got to tell you how I felt."

Lockwoods face was quite unreadable as I explained my story, but that look of awkward pain passed his expression a few times.

"Anyway," I continued, "I found out it was just a Fetch. It was fake. You were down in the prison with me, you did come to save me. I remember your sword slashing through the Fetch. But then I realised, that you were in danger. The Fetch was saying you died trying to save me, and you had already injured yourself so many times trying to do that exact thing, so I left. I decided to leave Lockwood and Company."

"I- I'm sorry Lucy, but I really don't remember any of this..."
"It's alright." I kept going, "On the night I was getting ready to leave you had asked me out for a walk. we went to a cafe and argued, and I left. I walked through Hyde Park. And it started raining, and you came back to me. You were about to yell at me, when I decided, to just- Just kiss you! And I did! And you kissed me back." I had a huge grin on my face, my heart fluttering away at the memories. "Do you remember that?"

"Lucy." Lockwoods voice came out apologetic, and I thought he was just going to say no.
"It's okay if you don't, I'll keep recalling memories until you can as well. Later that-"
"No, Lucy." His voice was stern now, but he still had that look on his face. "Listen I um.. Whoever that version of me was.. He's gone. I'm sorry to say but, it's not just that I don't remember you kissing me-"
"You kissed me too!" I butted it, my heart was beating so fast, but now I was worried.

"Yeah, well I don't remember that. And frankly Lucy.. I don't have those feelings for you. I'm your boss, not your boyfriend. I'm sorry but I just don't feel that way."

"But you do. You have to! We were dating!" He shook his head and stood up.
"I think it's time I go now."
"But- Anthony!" I gripped his hospital grown. I knew it was a bad idea, but I said it anyway. Tears were streaming down my face. He stopped.

"Don't. Call me that." His dark eyes flicked down to me. "I'm sorry Lucy, but you need to let go of me."
"No, no, no, no, no, no. Please you have to remember! Remember! Lockwood please!" I screamed. He moved away from me, my hands in the air, fingers shaking.
"I'll see you tomorrow." He opened the door and walked in. I was back to square one, he was shutting himself off from me, and I still loved him.

I sat there on the bench, a gentle breeze coming in. I sat there and stared at the tarmac.

"Hey! You! You can be out here!" There was someone at the door. I stood up. I was swaying. And I just ran. I ran as fast as I could, around the side of the building to the front. I ran down the hill leading to the hospital, I ran through the roads. I ran until I couldn't anymore. Until my knees shook and the tears blurred my eyes. I sunk down into a grassy patch, my fingers dug into the earth, dirt collecting under my fingers nail's, as if I were clawing at the memory of Lockwood. Trying to stop him from fading away. 

A/N: realised that Lockwood is 'For The First Time' and Lucy is 'Watching Him Fade Away' (I'm not crying you are!)