Surging Desire || CullensxOc

60

I didn't know how to feel, I just know that I am tired of hurting. Being rejected so many times by the people I love was getting to my head. You can only take so much hurt, pain, and rejection before you explode. So I did, and that made me loose my bond with Bella. I knew deep inside that we were still connected in some way. But she was no longer someone my gift recognized as a person to protect. My bond as a protector had shrunk to seven instead of eight.

But now it's a tough situation for me. The other people I am meant to protect can and will protect themselves. So what is it that I am needed for? Hopefully they will not reject my need to protect or else I feel like I will dissolve into nothing.

I think that I had went into overdrive feeling the string that attached us get cut in half. That is what made my powers go out of control. Though I get it, I understand why my other personality rejected and revoked Bella. Because she had said I wasn't needed, she had to of really felt like she didn't need my protection for it to snap so easily. And I had to of have believed what she said.

I had felt dead inside, though the pain has lessen over the days. Carlisle had allowed me to miss a few days of school so I could heal and gain energy. The others in our home stayed with me for as long as they could, making sure I was getting better. I was and am forever grateful for them.

Edward had ran straight to Bella. They had gotten into a fight for the way she treated me. But also I was a little upset he stood up for me, why? Because it made me feel like I can't fight my own battles.

I would have talked to her. Eventually!

I just don't feel like I belong with her. I don't have the same bond with her that I do with the others. It was confusing me.

Jasper had been the one to take initiative and ask me what made me pass out in the woods. I had to recap the whole day, every tiny detail, every word, everything. It was hard to explain what was said by Bella without my heart lunging out of my chest. But I had made it through with the help of jaspers gift.

So here we were now. Standing in the living room as Edward whispers to Alice, Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie.

I am leaning against the nearest wall ease dropping. And Bella stands further away, trying to hear but I can tell she's having no luck from the sound of her feet shuffling as she tries to get closer.

I'm bluntly ignoring her and have since she arrived. I had nothing to say to her. She tried to greet me when she first entered. But I had decided to walk away before I snapped.

"Who was it? Someone we know?" Alice questions the mind reader. My mind is running with a million and one thoughts as I stare off into the distance.

Edward shakes his head, "Just a stranger. I didn't recognize his scent." A stranger?

Esme confused asked, "A nomad passing through?" That wouldn't make sense. Why would a random vampire enter Bella's house? That didn't seem logical to me. This person has to of know something about Bella to even come here. Let alone enter her room. It sounded like this may have been pre planned. Possibly by a certain curly haired vampire with a vengeance!

"A passer-by wouldn't have left Bella's father alive" Rosalie states. That's true, a vampire that can't control themselves would have killed Charlie on sight.

Jasper quickly walks into the house with Emmett. He makes quick strides until he's standing next to me. I slip my hand into his bigger one holding on. I could use the comfort, and Jasper, even without his gift always made me feel safe. He squeeze my hand before looking at the men in the house.

"His scent disappeared about five miles south of Bella's house" He stated.

Edward looks off for a moment. The gears running in his head as he thinks. "Someone's orchestrating this."

"Victoria?" Carlisle mentions. That's exactly my thought. It would be just plain stupid to think it was anyone else.

Alice shook her head, "I would've seen her deciding."  Not necessarily, she knows what Alice's gift is. Could it be possible she had found a way to block her power?

" It has to be the Volturi" Edward suggests.

Alice sighs again, "I don't think it's the Volturi either. I've been watching Aro's decisions, too."

"So we keep looking" Emmett speaks up for the first time. He had always been more of an observer when it came to this sort of thing. Like me, I never really had much to say.

Carlisle speaks up, "We also take shifts, guarding Bella at her house."

"Another protection detail? We wouldn't have this problem if she didn't reject my protection" I add feeling bitter. The others look at me with sad faces.

"Kaylia," Esme warns. She felt bad but I knew she didn't want anyone's feelings hurt. Well too bad, mine already were.

"No," Rosalie speaks up, "I agree."

"No, she's right," Bella adds giving me a depressed look, "You can't protect me, watch my dad... ... and search for the intruder. And for Victoria. And keep yourselves fed."

I roll my eyes. Not because she was wrong. But because I didn't want her to be right.

Edward looks pained. A common expression he likes to ware. "I'm not leaving you here defenseless."

Bella ignores him, "Well, I'm not gonna let you starve. And I wouldn't be unprotected, I have...

She paused for a moment looking down. Because she looks back up at Edward. She looks at him, a tiny glimmer of optimism flashing on her face.

Of course. Jacob, who else? Her trusty little lap dog. I storm off going up the stairs. With Rosalie and Emmett hot on my tail.

"I'm not gonna like this, am I?" Edward groans.