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May

It took a while for things to settle down after the loss of my father. I still couldn't believe that he was actually gone. I would never be able to see his cheeky smile. Or smell his woodsy scent when he hugged me. I couldn't crack jokes with him, or watch reality shows where we make fun of real life people. I couldn't do anything with him anymore. I make sure to visit his grave almost everyday.

I had done a lot of self loathing for a few months, but my friends and others helped me through it. It still hurt, nothing would ever lessen the pain of loosing someone, especially a parent. But something's could fill the gaps of that loss.

Being only seventeen and my mother being out of the country. There would have been nowhere for me to go without child services getting involved ...even if my eighteen birthday was in a few months. But luckily Carlise and Esme had pulled some strings and I was now legally under their care until I turned of age. Not that I would be going anywhere anyways. I had never been more thankful, the thought of leaving them all behind killed me. Being too far from my father's grave would have driven me mad.

Packing up my house had been the hardest thing after my father. Removing memories from a home I had basically grown up in was traumatic. Everyone I was close with tried to help me. But it was something I had to do by myself.

I didn't know what would happen to our house after I moved. But I could gather it would be sold. I would never be able to be in the house again. It felt just as bad as loosing someone. 

I was healing, there was still deep wounds and trama. But I could only get better with time. And being in the place of people I loved seemed like a good way to grow.

 And being in the place of people I loved seemed like a good way to grow

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Surging Desire || CullensxOcWhere stories live. Discover now