Perfumed Secrets | Kurt Cobain

Every now and then the stars align

"Hey, birthday girl," Kurt's voice broke through as he stepped into the bedroom. 

Faye had spent the last twenty-four hours trying to numb everything—guilt, shame, the recent memories—but now he was back, and the light from the small window caught the sparkle in his eyes.

He had a cupcake in his hand, a candle perched atop it. he settled down beside her, brushing a few strands of hair off her forehead with a gentle touch. As he lit the small candle, a smile spread across his face. 

"Happy birthday, baby."

Tears welled in her eyes as she sat up and took the dessert in her hands, her heart aching with joy and something deeper.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong, sweetheart?" he held her chin up, his eyes searching hers.

She shook her head, unable to articulate the storm swirling within her. He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. 

"I missed you," she whispered, feeling the warmth of his presence seep into her bones.

"I missed you too, baby. So much," he replied, wrapping her in a warm embrace, his hands patting her hair softly. "It's okay, I'm here now." 

He wiped away her tears with his thumb, and then with a playful smirk, he added, "Now you don't want to ruin your cake with all those pretty tears, do you?"

She couldn't help but laugh through the remnants of sadness. 

"Thank you," she said, her voice shaky but grateful as he held the cupcake closer to her.

"I'm sorry it's so simple," he glanced at her hands, "but that's all I could find so early in the morning."

"It's perfect, honey," she murmured, feeling a flicker of warmth from his kindness. "Where were you?" she asked, trying to focus on him, to keep the shadows at bay.

"Portland," he explained, a hint of weariness in his eyes. "I hurried the guys after the concert. I needed to be here." There was a softness in his voice, the tenderness of someone who had traveled miles just to celebrate with her. "I tried calling you when we were in Sacramento, but Amy said you weren't here."

A chill ran down her spine at the memory of where she had been when he called. She swallowed hard, feeling the guilt twist like a knife. She couldn't let him see her like this, not now, not when he was trying to cheer her up.

"Yeah, I-I was out," she lied, the words tasting bitter on her tongue. "I was...at the movies."

Kurt's eyes narrowed slightly, but he let it slide, that familiar smile returning as he nodded. "Well, I'm glad you're here now. It's your birthday, and we need to celebrate."

As he spoke, Faye felt her heart swell and break simultaneously. She was trapped in a paradox of happiness and horror, the love shining through Kurt's eyes only making her feel more desolate. All she wanted was to bury the memories, to forget the betrayal, to keep the light of his love illuminating the dark corners.

"Make a wish," Kurt prompted, bringing her back to the moment. 

She closed her eyes, breathing deeply.

Her wish was simple, but weighed down with layers of complexity. She wished to hold onto this moment just a little longer. 

When she opened her eyes, she blew out the candle, the smoke swirling into the air like her fleeting thoughts. She allowed herself to be lost in the illusion of happiness for a few minutes.

"C'mon, have a bite now!" He said, clapping his hands.

She couldn't resist his antics, and took a generous bite. The rich chocolate cake and sweet frosting melted on her tongue, but just as she pulled away she felt a smear of frosting on her nose. Kurt laughed, a light, joyous sound that filled the room.