Chocolate Toast, Remus Lupin

Worries

 "Miss. Dessen." Avery turned towards Professor McGonagall.

"Professor."

"I'd like you to come with me."

"Have I done something wrong?"

The woman's face relaxed. "No, Avery. I would just like to talk."

"Okay." Avery followed behind the professor, watching as Gryfindor ascended the stairs.

When they had reached McGonagall's office the pair sat.

"Would you like some tea?"

Avery hesitated. She had barely had an appetite during the feast. "No thank you. I'd really just like to know what's going on. Classes start tomorrow and I still have a prefect meeting to go to."

"Yes, well I suppose you'll have to be caught up since you skipped the one on the train."

Avery clenched her jaw. "Sorry, I wasn't feeling well earlier."

"We both know that's a lie dear, so why don't you tell me the truth."

The Ravenclaw took a breath. "Nothing is wrong."

"Avery, it'd be best if you just told me the truth."

"I am! Nothing is wrong!"

"Do not raise your voice at me. We will discuss this like adults, not like toddlers."

"Like toddlers? Are you kidding me? We don't have to discuss this like adults because nothing is going on."

Concern entered McGonagall's voice. "Avery."

The girl stood. "Stop! Stop pretending to care about this! About me! You haven't done shit for me these past couple of years so don't try to go mother mode now."

"Enough Miss. Dessen! I will not be spoken to like that."

Avery scoffed. "Oh, I'm so sorry Professor. You know, maybe if you had done something earlier this wouldn't be happening."

"I have always cared about your well-being, I have always cared about you."

"Like hell you have! Where were you this summer? Where were you last year? Where were you when my parents died and I had to move in with her! With that monster! You have never been there!"

"Enough! I will not have you yell at me and I will not have you say those things!"

"You don't want to hear the truth." Avery rubbed her hand over her mouth. "I'd say I'll see you in class but I won't be showing up."

Avery turned and walked out, leaving the Professor to stare at the space she had just been in.

"Cedarwood." The entrance to the prefect common room opened. Avery looked around the common room as she walked in. Regulus Black sat in front of the fireplace and Lily sat with Remus in the corner.

Regulus looked over as the cushion next to him sank. "Can I help you?"

"No."

"Then why are you sitting here?"

"Because I can, you don't own this couch."

Regulus watched the girl. "Bad summer?"

"How'd you know?"

"Because I looked the same until a week ago."

"And what happened a week ago?"

"My mother decided that I should be presentable in school."

"Yeah, my gran didn't think that far ahead." Avery turned her head and studded the boy. "How do you cover it so well?"

"Concealment charms."

"Want to teach me a couple?"

"Only if you leave me alone and go to your friends. They've been staring at you this whole time."

Avery turned and made eye contact with Lily. "Okay. I'll see you around."

"See you around."

Avery walked towards the two Gryfindors. "What was that about?" Remus asked.

"Nothing, just saying hi."

Lily looked at the girl. "Did you eat at all during the feast? You still look pale."

"I'm always pale, Lily."

"Never this much."

"I'm fine."

"That didn't answer my question."

"Can you not?"

"Avery." Remus gave the girl a look.

"Sorry, Lily."

"It's okay."

Avery squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm going on a walk."

"Do you want me to go too?" Lily asked.

"No, I'm just gonna go alone. I need to think."

"Okay, I'll let you know what was said during the meeting."

"Thank you." Avery turned and left the common room, letting out a breath as she did. She walked to the seventh floor and found the wall. She walked back and forth. Slowly the wall changed into a door. The room was empty, except right in the middle stood a mirror. Avery walked towards it, pressing one hand to the mirror and the other to her mouth as a small sob escaped. She moved to sit on her knees, watching as the people in the mirror did the same.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Mom and Dad." Avery leaned her forehead onto the mirror, her body shook as she cried. "I'm so sorry that I messed everything up. I'm sorry I'm such a failure and that I'm not good enough. I'm sorry that you're the one who died and not me. I wish it had been me. I wish every day that it had been me."

She stared into the mirror and looked at her parent's faces. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Her shoulders shook and she moved her hands to the floor, balancing herself. "It should have been me, it should have been me, it should have been me, it should have been me."

Wrote this when I was lowkey suicidal :)

Also WTF I go on to update and I'm at 1K reads !!! Thank you guys :')