Chocolate Toast, Remus Lupin

I'm Okay

"She said that her mom couldn't have done it because she was dead," Sirius told James.

"What? Last year she wouldn't even talk about her parents."

"I know! That's why it was so weird!"

"I mean, she has been writing to your mum more," Remus said from Peter's bed. "And she's been reading her mum's old journal."

"I guess. But that just seems so unlike her."

"Maybe we're rubbing off on her?" Peter suggested.

"Maybe she's going through a psychotic episode?"

Remus rubbed a hand over his face. "Maybe she needs to talk." The boy stood and grabbed the map. "I'm gonna go talk to her."

Sirius and James snicked at each other. "Yeah, talk," James said, putting air quotes around talk.

Remus scowled. "I'll see you all at dinner."

Avery stepped out of the Room of Requirements with a smile on her face. "Mamma Mia, here I go again, my, my, how can I resist you?"

"Avery."

The girl jumped as Remus stepped out from the shadows. "Geez Rem, you scared the shit out of me."

"Are you okay?"

"Fine, my heart's just beating super fast cause you scared me."

"No, not about me scaring you. I mean are you doing okay in general."

"Oh, I'm fine. Why?"

"Because you made a joke about your dead mum earlier."

"Oh, that? Yeah, it's nothing."

"Last year we couldn't even talk about her."

"That was last year."

"Let's take a walk."

"Okay?"

The two walked around the black lake. "What's been going on?"

Avery thought for a moment. "I've been reading my mum's old journal. It's been helping me feel, better, I guess. I don't know, it makes me feel closer to her and my dad." Remus stayed quiet.

"And I've been talking to Effie and Monty. They've been telling me things I never knew about my parents. It's been, refreshing, freeing almost, to know more about my parents. I read about my mum's experience here and it makes me safer and more confident. I read what Effie and Monty write about my parent's love for each other and me and it makes me feel happy. This summer sucked. It was filled with horrible treatment from my gran and it was filled with constant downs."

Avery stopped and turned to look at Remus. "I started the term feeling helpless and stuck. And now, now it feels like I can get through it."

Remus grabbed the girl's hand and rubbed his thumb across hers. "I'm glad."

Avery grinned. "I am too."

Avery and Remus walked into the great hall together. Avery covered her mouth as she laughed. Remus smiled down at her. "Why are you covering your smile?"

"What?"

"When you laugh," Remus moved Avery's hand. "You cover it with your hand."

Avery blushed. "I've been told if I'm to laugh too loudly I should hide it."

"I like your laugh. You shouldn't hide it."

The girl's blush deepened. "Thanks, Remus. I'll see you after dinner."

Remus watched as Avery walked towards the Ravenclaw table. "See you later."

Remus sat at the Gryfindor table and flinched as he saw the other boys grinning at him. "What?"

"How was your chat with Avery?" James asked.

"Yeah, you were gone for a couple of hours," Sirius added.

Remus rolled his eyes. "It was fine. We sat by the lake and talked."

"Mh yeah, talked."

"Can you lot stop? Nothing is going on between me and Avery. I don't like her like that and she doesn't like me like that."

Sirius gave James a skeptical look. "Whatever you say bud."

"It's the truth. Avery is just a friend. All she needs right now is a friend."

"We all know that," James muttered.

"Actually though, what'd Avery say?"

"She said she's been feeling better, more herself, after reading her mum's journal. The letters your parents are sending have been helping too."

"What'd she say about the joke?"

"I didn't bring that up specifically. Look, it's probably just a coping method."

"Like my drinking," Sirius said.

"What the fuck Padfoot."

"Sorry Prongs, thought it needed to be said."

"Okay, we can get back to Sirius' drinking problem later. Avery is fine, she's doing great. We just need to be there to support her if anything happens."

"You're right. Let's not dwell on the past."