His Obsession ➸ Taekook ✓

- Thirty-second -

Jeongguk pulled on his thick sweatshirt, zipping it up to his chin, before grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. He didn't dare look in the mirror, knowing that he didn't look good in those ugly clothes he'd learned to hate. Those purely masculine clothes that all young people his age wore. When he was ten, he could pretend to be a girl, wear nice clothes, and no one would really think anything of it. But when you were eighteen, it was different. You were constantly scrutinised, stared at. Jeongguk was forced to blend in.

He hated that period of his life. He hated his life. It was as if his sister was a distant memory. He could no longer wear the clothes that brought him closer to her. And when he did, it was locked in his room, the mirror hidden by a blanket. He was too ashamed. He was too ashamed to have come to identify with those outfits. To become one with them. And yet, the clothes he was currently wearing bothered him. It was as if they were irritating his skin, making him feel uncomfortable, dirty, and all he wanted to do was get rid of them.

Jeongguk was feeling bad about himself in ways you couldn't imagine. In conflict with himself.

He left his room and went downstairs, inevitably passing through the living room to leave the house. And the view didn't change, it was the same every morning. It had become a landscape frozen in time, and Jeongguk wasn't even sad about it anymore. He was just... exhausted.

On the sofa, legs crossed, his mother was looking through a photo album with a dreamy smile glued to her lips. The teenager didn't need to get any closer to see which photos they were: those of a little girl, taken in various places, a school, a park, an ice cream shop. Chae Jeon spent her days looking at photos of her daughter Hyuna, with such pride that it was hypnotic.

Except that it was Jeongguk. In every one of them. But Chae was still convinced that her daughter was still there.

The old woman had gone completely insane. She was just a shadow of her former self. She was no longer able to work, think or even speak properly. She just stood there with the photo album in her hands, turning the pages with a smile. When she'd finished, she'd start again. Endlessly. For three years now. Ever since Jeongguk stopped wearing his sister's clothes.

Jeongguk approached her with a sigh, going to one of the cupboards in the living room and pulling out a large black box. He placed it on the coffee table next to the sofa, making a loud "bang" as he passed, but Chae didn't move, keeping her gaze fixed on the photos. Jeongguk opened it and took out a small syringe, which he jabbed a few times to get rid of the air bubbles.

"Mum, hold out your arm, it's time to eat."

The woman didn't answer, as if she hadn't heard. Jeongguk wasn't surprised, he'd expected it. It happened every time. So he gently grabbed the woman's arm, taking the drip that was already running down in it, and stuck the syringe in, emptying the contents. Chae had even become incapable of feeding herself, and the task was so complicated for Jeongguk that the hospital had prescribed injections. It was the only way they could find to keep her alive.

Jeongguk then put the equipment away, and turned one last time to his mother, who was continuing to look at her photos without interruption. He bit his lip, his eyes painfully empty and tired, and left the house without anyone noticing.

***

The last bell of the day rang, freeing the students from a long day of work. Jeongguk rubbed his face for a long time, tiredness piling up on his shoulders without him ever being able to rest. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up slowly at the person who was calling out to him: Minjae, a boy from his class with whom he often hung out. He wasn't really a friend, even if Minjae considered him one. Jeongguk had neither the time nor the desire to have friends.