𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶? neteyamxaonung

Heart Ached

|🌟|Neteyam POV:

- I think this was the most and the worst morning I could ever have since we moved with the relief navis, why? because the moment I opened my eyes pretty late in the morning because I fell asleep very late last night, I heard something smashing to the ground in the kitchen.

The moment I opened the door I looked in horror at what was happening, because Lo'ak was there alone, in the kitchen, his hands were bloody, plates a few of them smashed all over the ground, our wooden cabinets from the kitchen a few of them had cracks of fists and there was a chair down on the floor next to him without its legs, one of them being in his hand laid down by his body as his eyes were puffy red and his hair a mess overall,

" Lo'ak- " I barely said trying to process everything that was happening, I could feel tiredness around me, I had these bad eye-bags around my eyes for the last few nights and when I saw my brother like that I lost myself for a second and if I wouldn't have the barley training skills I gained along the years to wake up and dodge the flying chair leg that flew at my head, I don't think I would be alive right now to tell someone about this.

The moment the wooden leg hit the wall behind me I let myself down as my heart started beating and I finally woke up, I looked up my eyes widened, and then I got myself closer slightly as I noticed his face, his eyes big and widened now, red as hell a clue that he was dead from crying and his body all shaking, he covered his mouth as tears budged from his eyes, " I'm so sorry- " He said panicked, his voice shaky,

I started to go closer trying to fade away my shocked face and act cool and calm around my little brother, " It's fine, It's fine- " I said with both arms up and my palms open as I approached my brother, " I didn't- I " He said looking around the mess he done himself, all those plates, some cabinets broken the chair at his feet,

" Just try and don't move, you'll get yourself cut in those pieces of plates," I said as he looked at me in pure shock his hands still covering his mouth as I finally got closer, " Just come one, grab my hand- " I said so he could do a jump over those pieces on the floor, He slowly reached my hand and jumped on the other side where the pieces of the plates stopped and sat down on a chair.

" Neteyam- " He said in a sob as I jumped on the other side so I could grab the broom in the corner of the room, I turned my head as soon as I put my hand on the broom, " Yeah? " I said calmly, it wasn't like it was the first time, but it had never been this bad,

" I'm sorry. " He said trying to wipe his tears fast off his cheeks as some blood from his fists stuck on there he finally noticed the blood and looked down confused at his hands then looked at the floor just purely sad and ashamed,

My heart ached.

" You don't have to be sorry, now. " I said trying my best to be as fast as I could to be into cleaning the floor from those plate pieces moving them to one side of the room and quickly grabbed some bandages and some substance long ago made by Kiri to help with wounds and extra bleeding and went back to Lo'ak as now just a few dry tears could be seen on his face, he slowly moved his hands up at me, " I know- but I'm really sorry, Neteyam I- I don't know what happened I just, I remembered being angry I just- I " He started again as I moved myself a bit down so I could work on the wounds on his fists and noticed as more as he talked his voice became more and more shaky and his breath become hardly and heavy, " Lo'ak. " I said deeply as I looked at him, He stopped talking as his waterline filled for a second at the harshness of my voice, but he at least stopped talking, " Focus on breathing, please, " I said sighing, trying to work on those wounds so they won't infect, He finally listened to me and started to focus on breathing and less on me his eyes still looking at the floor embarrassed of what he did,

I applied the substance from Kiri and slowly bandaged it around his fists and kept them tied, I straightened my back and went to collect the legs of the chair, Lo'ak remained at the chair, still looking down but moved his eyes to me as soon as I left his view, " I can help you! " He said to me, I looked at him as I picked up the leg chair that almost hit me in the head, " That would be lovely, But I can deal with a small mess, you can make yourself tea and try and remain calm for me, that would help " I added trying and not make myself sound like I was talking with a kid because that annoyed him,

He sighed a bit and got up with no more comments took a cup of water from the kitchen and moved back onto his chair sitting down his chin dropped on the table.

After I finally cleaned and threw away the plate pieces and somehow fixed the chair and rebuilt it the best I could, a few hours later I remained with my only two problems, the cracks on the cabinets, three on three different cabinets, and Lo'ak,

I took a few drawings of Tuk and placed them with some pines on the cabinets so they could cover the cracks at least for now until I could find with Kiri an idea to fix them, and of how rarely our parents come home they won't even notice,

I finally finished with that too in ten minutes or so as I wiped some sweat off my forehead and finally returned to sit down next to Lo'ak as he was still unmoved from that chair, the water glass barely touched.

" Do you think you're ready to talk now, with me? " I said trying to sound as gentle as I could sound, nothing from him but a glance and a sad frown, " I'm sorry, for- " He began but I sweetly interrupted him, " I know that, I told you it's fine, a small mess won't hurt anyone " I added but his eyes almost filled again with sadness on the edge of crying, " I'm sorry- for almost hitting you with that chair-leg..." He said his voice shaky again, I frowned for a second, " I know, that's fine, you didn't want to do that you were just confused by who it was, Okay? " I said, trying to sound as calm as I could even tho I was still sad and angry with myself because I should have seen this, Lo'ak barely cries about anything but when it happens it's a big sign that stuff like this would happen, and they will happen more and more and I knew that and I sleep last night without making sure he will not have a crisis like this,

Lo'ak always had Anger issues, I'm not a big psychologist to know what is this but all I know is that he gets outraged, very very mad about something or guilty he cries and isolates himself and if anything gets him annoyed or slightly mad even a cabinet that won't close then he gets into this state where he destroys everything and hurts himself by accident while he douse this, his vision gets blurry and he barley recognize who is who.

Something bad, And I always feel sorry and my heart hurts when I see my little brother like this knowing that I can't help him all the time,

He wiped a small tear going down his cheek, " Lo'ak, please if you want, I won't even force you but I have to know what is going on so I can help, " I said as he looked at me from the side as in the meantime he dropped his chin back onto the table, looking horrible.

" It's- about Tsireya... "