SCARLET MEETS MILA

8

Scarlet

I knock gently and wait for Teddy to answer. He mumbles a small "Come in." As I push open the door. He's sat on the bed leaning against the wall, his arms wrapped around his knees while tears fill his eyes.

"Can I come in bed with you?" He nods, and I kick off my heels to crawl beside him. He sniffles, wiping his eyes with his arm. "Are you sad?"

He nods.

"Ok, good start." I inch closer and extend my arm. Thankfully, he moves close and leans into my chest with a sigh. "Are you angry?"

He nods.

"Are you scared?"

He shakes his head.

"So, sad and angry."  I confirm, his hand fiddling with my dress. "That's ok? Thank you for telling me?"

"Are you mad at me?" He asks, stumbling over his words.

I stroke the top of his head and pull his legs over my lap. "Not at all." He looks up. "I pulled you away and sent you up here because you were about to make a choice that could have gotten you into trouble. I don't want that when you're already feeling bad?"

"Ok." He nuzzles into my chest. "I didn't mean to get angry."

"It's ok to be angry, Teddy." His sniffling nose reminds me to be gentle. "It's normal. Just like being happy, or excited. We're supposed to feel these things."

"I didn't need her help." He growls gently.

I pull him closer and stroke small lines into his calves, staring out at the wall in front. "Sometimes, when we see somebody we love upset, it's hard not to want to help." I explain. "Maisie loves you a lot, and I think maybe she didn't like watching Hunter be mean to you. What do you think?"

He nods. "I guess." He admits. "But now she's gotten hurt and it's all my fault?"

"It's not your fault." I cup his cheek and smile. "It was Maisie's choice to help. She knew what she was doing. Besides, doesn't it feel good to know you have a cool big sister to keep you safe?"

He nods sheepishly. "He made fun of you guys." Tears swell in his eyes again, a line of water highlighting the red nose and cheeks threatening to break. "He said you were gay and that being gay is bad. He called you gross and it made me sad. I tried not to show him but I couldn't help it."

"Teddy." I calm his rambling voice with a squeeze. "I am proud of you. Ok?" He blinks once, and the tears fall onto his cheeks. "You're a kind, gentle boy. People like Hunter should look up to you, but they don't. You know why?"

He shakes his head.

"Because people like you are rare. In this world, there are so many mean, nasty people that don't care about other's feelings. You do, and I love you so much for that." I smile, using the pad of my thumb to wipe his cheeks. "He doesn't know you. He doesn't know us? How could anything that he tells you possibly be true?"

"None of it's true." He swallows, sitting himself up to look at me. "You two are the best in the world. You chose us."

"We chose you?"

He nods passionately. "I'm not your real son, neither is River or Maisie. You chose us. You could have given us to someone else but you didn't." A lump forms in my throat as he looks down to scratch at his ankle below. "You kept us and loved us forever. Our real moms didn't."

"Teddy-

"You're our real moms." His eyes meet mine, and my lips are forced to close as I fight back the tears threatening to build. "I don't care what anyone says, you are!" His chin crumples. "You are!"

I pull him toward me and hold him tight. His beating heart connecting with my own as he starts to sob with a guttural choke. "Yes we are." I confirm. "I've got you. It's ok."

"I hate him." He cries. "I hate him."

I rock him back and forth slowly, easing him away from his tears. "Take some big breaths for me. In and out, come on." He does as told and breathes deeper and deeper. "It will be ok. I will make sure of it."

I look up at the door. Mila stands with her head leaning on the doorframe. "She will." Her voice filters into the room as she walks toward the bed. "We both will." She crawls onto the bed and sits opposite me, stroking Teddy's back with a soft smile.

He smiles back. "Ok."

"We're a family." I add. "We love each other. Nothing can get in the way of that. No matter what anybody may have to say."

"You're also pretty lucky to have two moms." Mila winks. "Most people only have one."

"Yeah." He giggles. "My mom's have cool cars too."

"Stay humble, Ted." I laugh. "We work hard for those cars."

"Can I have one?"

"No!" We say in unison. "You can have a skateboard."

He shakes his head and pulls back, shuffling to find his covers. "I guess I'll ignore him tomorrow. He's dumb."

"He is." I lean in to kiss his forehead. "Now go to sleep. You're gonna be tired."

"Love you."

"Love you too, baby."

***

Mila

We close the door gently and head to our room. Scarlet wipes her cheeks and begins undressing slowly, her expression sad and distant. It's crazy. You learn to switch certain emotions off when you have kids. You learn to be present for them and drop your own baggage in hopes you won't break them.

I sit on the edge of the bed and watch her. She doesn't look at me, but I can feel her attention focusing on my gaze. "I hate this." She huffs, looking at herself in the mirror. "I hate us fighting."

I sigh. "I don't know what to say." I admit. "The ball is kind of in your court right now."

She leans down onto the vanity and swallows. "I know." Her words trail away.

"So." My heart pounds. "Was I wrong?"

She turns her head to look at me.

"Would you have turned me away?"

She takes a deep breath. "Do you understand how much I love you, Mila?" Her brow furrows. "You're my wife? I wouldn't want anyone else beside me right now. How could you even ask that?"

"Do you understand why I'm asking?"

She stands tall, pacing the room with her fingers interlocked around the back of her neck.

"I guess I have my answer."

"No!" She pauses, looking right at me. "You can't say that. It's not fair. I mean, we've been together for almost ten years? Does that not tell you enough?"

I stand up and flail my arms. "I don't know?" My chest burns, and my chin begins to crinkle. "You're acting like this is some dealbreaker revelation? Like you can't even look at me the same as before?"

She shakes her head.

"Scarlet, please?" I stammer.

"What?!" She looks at me with tired eyes, and it feels as though we're running in circles. "It's ok for you to feel sad and angry, but not me? Did you ever stop to think that maybe I'm struggling with this?"

"Then talk to me!" I demand. "Stop covering it up and
hiding it from me."

She sighs, walking past me to climb into bed. "I need to sleep." She avoids my statement and pulls the covers over her face. "My head hurts. We can talk about it tomorrow."

I nod, clenching my jaw. "Don't bother." I decide, reaching over her for my pillow. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna bunk with Teddy." I scoff. "He doesn't judge me like you do."