HER JOURNAL

MAY 19, 2025

6 PM

I'm exhausted
The truth is, I'm disappointed
I know I did my best
Best wasn't enough, indeed
I know, I'm being too hard on myself
Setting the bar so high
Expecting to smile while walking on fire
I scold me whenever I stumble
I hate me whenever I fall
I starve me when emotion reigns - I can't control
I hurt me when I'm downcast
I am my enemy
And I am my home
I used to cry and self sabotage when I'm disappointed
But this time, I was numb of all the hatred
Yes, it doesn't feel right deep inside
But it wasn't that heavy like the pain I used to hide
Mind's still wandering for logic and answers
The heart still mourns but now quite as it turns
My soul could still feel the burning pain
But the holy spirit keeps me sane

.
.

7 PM

Why worry about failures?
It ain't always the life horrors
Closed doors will always be the reminders
To strive and build your own wonders

Let them celebrate their wins
Clap your hands and show your proud grins
They deserve their spotlight and camera gleams
Your time will come to achieve your dreams

Sometimes it's not easy to watch them glow
When your light is dying and you feel so low
When everyone seems to handle their shits
And you can't even find a solution in bits

And when you feel betrayed by the system
Don't blame yourself nor them
Nobody's opinions are more important than Him
He, who created the world - trust Him

So what if you didn't reach the standards?
Perhaps you haven't found the right cards
Something that ain't for you shouldn't bother you
Move on to better things that'll embrace you

As long as you're breathing, life is a continues game
Lives are limited so live, don't feel ashamed
To experience life is what we came
Smile, grave is the destination - we're all the same

Rain