HER JOURNAL

DECEMBER 05, 2024

In the middle of my hectic day, I paused for a second and closed my eyes. A river of memories flows vividly in my mind. I am just a kid back then – naive and careless. When I was small, I've got smaller problems. I remember, I was sitting inside the classroom silently watching my classmates play together. I'm an outcast, so what? 

Taking a deep breath.. 

My mind brought me to the memories when I was in highschool. Believing that life's a fairy tale and true love is the answer in everything. Although, I go unnoticed by the guy I admire – I'm hopeful that soon in his eyes I'll shine. 

Sighing.. 

I'm getting older. Looking back at those memories just makes me smile and cry a little. The nostalgia hits different, it's making me want to hug my younger self and whisper to her, "You'll be alright, I'm not giving up on us"

I want to tell her that being alone and out of place is not that bad. It doesn't hurt anymore. I want to tell her that soon someone will love her, she don't need to worry about being ignored. Although it didn't last, I hope she knows that love came her way but time didn't let it stay.

And when I opened my eyes, reality struck me deep within..

I'm now in college, life's a rollercoaster ride. I guess, I'm just so exhausted to miss my younger self this bad. Or perhaps, I'm still a loner, longing for a company but I find none so I'm reaching for myself.. and it's okay.

Anyway, isn't it satisfying to just reminisce the old days in the midst of a busy day? Those memories aren't that happy but knowing that I survived all those – it makes me merry. 

Sometimes we just need to look back to realize how far we have moved forward. But not because we have grown, doesn't mean that there's no room for mistakes and failures. Fall down but always get up.

Rain