In My Opinion

Broken Promises by wordenchanter

Title: Broken promises by wordenchanter
Source: ELGANZA, INC. | AWARDS by TheCieloCommunity
Category: Short Stories

Mature: N (bullying, mention of rape, mild profanity, slut shaming)
LGBTQIAP+: N

Status: Complete
Special note (judging): I had five books in this category, and the other judges (BANGTANHOLIC_FICS and Lunatic_Twilight) had five books each.
Result: 93/100

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*****

Rubric:
- Title: 5
- Book cover: 5
- Description (blurb): 5
- Plot & storytelling: 15
- Character development: 10
- Writing style: 10
- Grammar: 10
- Originality & creativity: 10
- Emotional impact: 10
- Pacing & structure: 5
- Accuracy (if non-fiction): 5
- Overall enjoyment & engagement: 10
Total: 100

*****

Total: 93/100

Title: 4/5
Good title, but I prefer capitalization of all words in the title (Broken Promises).

Cover: 3/5
I like the cover, but it's missing a very important piece of information: your name. You're the author, and you need to give yourself credit. That's more important than a label stating "Wattpad." I'd cut that out completely, because it's unnecessary, and put your name there instead. Also, I wouldn't just change the text and leave it at that. The font style and color don't match the rest of the cover, so I'd change to something that blends better with the rest of it. Also, "self-respect" should be hyphenated. But otherwise, the background imagery is beautiful, and your choice of font style, color, size, and placement are all perfect for the title and subtitle.

Blurb: 4/5
There's very limited space in the blurb preview before a potential reader decides to click/tap on a book or pass it by, so I'd definitely cut the first line about which trope this story uses. I wouldn't include that in the blurb at all, actually. You could put it as a tag, though. That way, people who are looking specifically for books using that trope could find this. I'd also cut "Story Description:" because that's what the blurb is. You don't need to restate that, and again, it's taking up valuable space.

As for the blurb itself, the content is good, and your grammar is perfect. My only suggestion would be to add spaces on either side of the hyphen ( - ), because as is, it looks like an incorrect compound word.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to a story about friendship.

Plot & storytelling: 14/15
I really like how you told this story. From the blurb and other stories with broken friendships, I thought there may be a reconciliation, but when you revealed what Prithvi did to Kirti, I didn't want a reconciliation to happen. He wasn't just insensitive and oblivious. He was purposefully cruel, going out of his way to bully her and destroy her reputation, so for me, the ending was a happy ending. She deserved much better than him, and finding her inner peace and moving on was the best thing for her.

The way you unfold the story through a combination of present-day events punctuated by flashbacks was really effective. My only critique here is how you lead into and out of flashbacks. Just having headings that say "Flashback" and "Flashback Ended" is kind of jarring. It breaks the flow of the story, and I think it would be better to try to show the scene/time change in another way. Using section dividers before and after, like when you have a scene change in the present, might do it on its own. It can be as simple as three or five asterisks (***, *****), or you can get fancy with a custom section divider. I think that would be enough, but if you want to go further to ensure the reader knows this is not in the same timeline, you could also italicize the flashback. That way, whenever the reader sees a section divider and text in italics, they would know at a glance the story is moving in a flashback.