Demons by AthenaPersephone9

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Series: The Infernal Chronicles (book one)
Source: Feedback request
Genre: Fanfiction
Fandom: Once Upon a Time TV series by Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz (specifically, season 1)
Mature: Y (abduction, blood, infidelity, mild gore, minor violence, needles, mentions of suicide, strong profanity)
LGBTQIAP+: N
Status: Complete
First impressions: 37/40
Digging deeper: 73/100
Final thoughts: Complete

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First impressions: 37/40

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First impressions: 37/40

Title: 10/10

I love the title Demons, but I really love what you've done with the superscript in the title to indicate the book number within the series. Without a special box for the series name (please, Wattpad, please!), I think this is the best way to show a series through the title. And having read most of the book at this point, Demons is entirely accurate.

Story description: 10/10

Yes. Perfection. All the right info included, all the right stuff left out to create mystery, and it's obvious right away that you don't have to be a fan to understand what's going on in this story, which means it's wide open to non-fan readers like me. You've introduced the main character, Angie, along with Henry (yay Henry!), and you didn't bother dropping names for all the other characters, because that would just confuse a potential reader, and it's not relevant in this blurb. Ending with a series of questions and a short statement delivers a great hook as well. And not a single grammatical error in sight.

Cover: 9/10

I don't remember what your previous cover looked like, but I know I liked it. I like this one better, though. The reds go great with the title, and you have all the info: series, title, your name, graphics designer's name (props to mariiwritez). The only thing I don't like is the positioning of the woman's face. It feels unnatural to me. Given her stance and the position of her neck, she should be looking at an angle, but she's looking straight forward. I'm guessing the face has been altered from the original face, or another face put over the original? It just strikes me as off. But otherwise, I love this.

Addendum: Oh, look, you included the old cover in the intro chapters. And yes, I liked the old one, too.

First chapter (and everything that came before it): 8/10

I love the poems and song lyrics you include throughout the intro chapters (and the rest of the book), and the little subtitles and quotes for each character do a lot to build them up in the reader's mind before we've even met them. You also don't waste space and reading time with in-depth descriptions, because that's what the story is for, isn't it?

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