In My Opinion

RM's Rapping RV by 4everSherlocked

Title: RM's Rapping RV by 4everSherlocked

Source: ELGANZA, INC. | AWARDS by TheCieloCommunity

Category: Comedy

Mature: N (loss of a loved one)

LGBTQIAP+: N

Status: Ongoing

Special note (judging): I had four books in this category, and the other judge (YsmeriaGuilro) had four books.
Result: 96/100

Clicking the "External Link" button below the "Continue to next part" button will take you straight to the book, or click the link in the inline comments here. → 

*****

Rubric:
- Title: 5
- Book cover: 5
- Description (blurb): 5
- Plot & storytelling: 15
- Character development: 10
- Writing style: 10
- Grammar: 10
- Originality & creativity: 10
- Emotional impact: 10
- Pacing & structure: 5
- Accuracy (if non-fiction): 5
- Overall enjoyment & engagement: 10
Total: 100

*****

Total: 96/100

Title: 5/5
Now, this is a funny title. Color me intrigued! And I chuckled at your splashes of humor throughout Deja Vu, so if you're intentionally writing a full comedy book, I expect much laughter. Note to self: Don't eat while reading...

Cover: 5/5
This is such a fun cover for such a fun title. It's bright, flashy, and doesn't take itself too seriously. The oldie-style text with the old RV works great, and I love RM's cheeky smile. If I had any complaint, it would be that your name is a bit small, but it's still legible, and I think bumping the size up would mess this cover up, so I'd leave it alone.

Blurb: 4/5
I like it. It's short, sweet, and to the point. I think you could rework the last sentence a little, because the semicolon feels weird to me. Maybe you could add a comma after "thinks," change "as" to "and," and then...maybe a period or a hyphen would work better than the semicolon? Either would add a little more punch to the last statement, anyway, but both have a slightly different feel to them, so whatever you think works best.

Plot & storytelling: 15/15
I was not expecting a plot this coherent. You said it wouldn't make sense! But it does. It's also not a straight comedy, with the humor being more subtle, requiring contextual knowledge to get it. I guess I didn't know where a story starting with Namjoon inheriting an RV from his deceased grandfather would go. It's an interesting ride. The science fiction elements weave seamlessly throughout the story in a way that feels believable, and the time travel incidents are just more stops in a plot that's best not to question. So what if the first person they meet in 15th century France can speak English (Korean?) and doesn't care about the differences in appearance of his Korean visitors? We've already seen the RV's operating and security systems turn into actual humans. This is a story that's about going with the flow and enjoying the ride.

It gets heavier than I expected. The adventures to find and rescue Taehyung and Jungkook are pretty serious, punctuated by humor from our beloved Hobi and his precious hay (nominated for Best Performance by a Prop by lexxandbts, link in the inline comments), but then we're back on track with increasing ridiculousness including alien alpacas, of all things. I wonder; do the Alpacians count people when they're having trouble sleeping? →