| | Indefinite Hiatus | |
I hope to return to this project someday, but it isn't feasible with my current health issues and life circumstances. I have to cut things from my workload so I can breathe. However, I still intend to complete my current li...
Source: Feedback request Genre: Fanfiction Fandom: Harry Potter book series by J. K. Rowling Mature: Y (blood, death, depression, discrimination, dubious consent, explicit sexual content, loss of a loved one, smoking, strong profanity, torture, underage drinking, violence) LGBTQIAP+: N Status: Ongoing First impressions: 39/40 Digging deeper: 98/100 Final thoughts: pending
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First impressions: 39/40
Title: 10/10
Well, if this title doesn't scream "dark romance," I don't know what does. And it seems very appropriate for a story where Tom Riddle is the male love interest, because, well, he becomes Voldemort, so I can't imagine a relationship with him could be nonviolent.
Story description: 10/10
It's so ridiculously rare for me to give full points in this section, but here you go. I can't find a single typo or grammatical error. You've struck the perfect balance of giving a potential reader enough information to pique their interest while also leaving enough out to further rouse their curiosity, and your word choice and sentence structure add to the strong hook as well. Great job here.
Cover: 10/10
This is a really professional-looking cover. All the imagery blends well, with layers of meaning hidden in every detail, and the addition of reds to the dark grays and neutral tans compliments the title by bringing blood to mind. The font style, size, placement, and color are all perfect, too. I can't even complain about the subtitle at the top being too small to read. Gorgeous cover.
First chapter (and everything that came before it): 9/10
I appreciate the disclaimer with content warnings and the clear statement that Tom Riddle's behavior is not okay. Unfortunately, it's far too common for dark romance authors to romanticize toxic relationships, so stating you aren't doing that is a relief.
Character aesthetics aren't my thing, but yours are really unique and well put together. You're not revealing too much information right away, just giving the reader a general idea of the characters' personalities and adding a touch of excitement with all the familiar last names, and the combination of images and text is very effective at setting the tone. As is your poetry, both at the beginning of the aesthetics page, and again right before the first chapter. The metaphorical language evokes dark, foreboding emotions, along with the pain Amelia will endure for loving Tom Riddle, further preparing the reader for what's to come.
And the first chapter takes us into a deep dive of Tom Riddle himself. He's a frightening character from the start, twisted by a painful past into a vengeful man who is all the more dangerous for his ability to display a perfect exterior that hides his monstrous intentions and lulls everybody into a false sense of security. I wouldn't say he's necessarily a relatable character, although I'm sure there are people who can relate to his circumstances, but he's realistic and believable, which makes it easier to understand his mindset. Your descriptions are fantastic, and I can't find a single grammatical error, just one missing period. This promises to be an immersive, well-written story.
