| | Indefinite Hiatus | |
I hope to return to this project someday, but it isn't feasible with my current health issues and life circumstances. I have to cut things from my workload so I can breathe. However, I still intend to complete my current li...
Series: Untitled (book one) Source: Feedback request Genre: Fanfiction Secondary/subgenre(s): Fantasy, mafia, romance, thriller Fandom:The Camorra Chronicles book series by Cora Reilly Mature: Y (abduction, attempted rape, child abuse, drug abuse, explicit sexual content, hostage situation, loss of a loved one, mental health issues, misogyny, strong profanity, torture, violence; mentions of abortion, infidelity, prostitution, rape) LGBTQIAP+: N Status: Complete First impressions: 27/40 Digging deeper: 63/100 Final thoughts: Complete
Clicking the "External Link" button below the "Continue to next part" button will take you straight to the book, or click the link in the inline comments here. →
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
First impressions: 27/40
Title: 9/10
It's a nitpicky thing, but I prefer capitalization of most words in the title, like you did on the cover and with your other books.
Story description: 8/10
I love this blurb, except for three things. First, the text saying "Synopsis" needs to go. That's a given, and it takes up valuable space in the limited blurb preview. Second, all the way at the bottom, "Nino" and "Cora" need to be capitalized.
Third, and this is only a suggestion that you're free to ignore, but I'd rework this so Hope's name comes first. She's the main character, so you want her name to stick in a potential reader's mind immediately. But she's the fourth name mentioned. Once her name comes into play, the tone of the blurb shifts to center on her and Nino, which is good; however, she is the center of the story from the start, and I think the blurb should reflect that.
Yes, I know Nino is the other main character, but I feel like Hope is more central and more important than him, if only just slightly. The two go together, anyway, so elevating her importance in the blurb would elevate his, too.
But otherwise, there are no grammatical errors, and I already know from reading the story this blurb is accurate. You give away just the right amount of information without giving away too much, which hooks a potential reader and encourages them to start reading.
Cover: 3/10
This is a pretty basic cover of a single image with the title typed across it, and I'd recommend doing more with it. It isn't very eye-catching, and it's missing your name, which is a really important detail. You could just upload the background image to Canva and then play with its free tools, graphics, and fonts to spruce it up a bit. I think if you found the right font, you could get away with only changing the text and not have to add a border or frame or any other graphics. The space on the right is perfect for the text. You could stack the title in the upper right-hand side, maybe one word above the other, with the text large enough to fill a quarter or a third of that gap, and then fill in your name down at the bottom, or even following that faint curved line on the lower right-hand side.
