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Beyonce Knowles Home
December 15
It had been two long, heavy days since the shooting. Nicki's mother was gone, and the weight of it was pressing down on her-on both of us, really. Her sister had called, offering to take her, but I couldn't let Nicki go right now. I needed to be here for her.
So, I took off work, put Kelly in charge, and made sure the team knew how to reach me if anything urgent came up. But truthfully, I didn't care about anything else at the moment.
Nicki was my priority.
I thanked the delivery person as they handed me the food, though I wasn't sure if Nicki would eat any of it. She hadn't moved much since yesterday, lying there, eyes red and swollen, barely speaking.
She hadn't eaten anything, either.
The court called earlier today, telling me they had moved Tre's court date again. This time, they said it was because of the shooting and their suspicions that he was somehow connected.
It was clear as day to me that he had something to do with it.
Trust me, I'm not letting this go.
On top of that, I had to practically beg Blue to go to school today. She didn't want to leave the house, and I get it-everything's been a lot lately.
But it's her last week before Christmas break, so I convinced her to just push through these next few days. She finally agreed, but I could tell her mind wasn't really on school.
I just hope she's able to get through the day without too much stress.
Speaking of Blue, she called me again. I picked up, already knowing she wasn't in the best headspace.
"Hey, Mama," her voice was soft, shaky. "How's everything?"
"Hey, baby. She's still in bed, hasn't eaten much. I'm trying, though," I replied, trying to keep my voice calm for her. "But don't worry. Everything's going to be fine. We're getting through it, okay?"
Blue was quiet for a moment before she spoke again. "I don't know if I can do this. I keep thinking about it, everything..."
"Blue, I know it's hard," I interrupted, my tone gentle but firm. "But I need you to focus on school right now. Just for this week. It's almost over, then you'll have a break, and we can all be together."
"I'm trying," she whispered, her voice starting to crack. "But I just-"
Suddenly, her breathing shifted. It got quicker, more uneven. I knew this sound well-she was starting to panic.
"Blue, baby, slow down," I said softly, trying to catch her attention. "Breathe with me, alright? In through your nose, nice and slow."
I could hear her trying to follow my instructions, but her breath was still shaky.
