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This book contains mature themes, explicit language, and scenes of a sexual nature intended for adult audiences only. It is rated R and is not suitable for readers under the age of 18.
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Onika Maraj Home
December 12, 2025
Brennox was absolutely losing it in my arms as I rushed into the kitchen, his little body squirming and his cries echoing through the house. I tried bouncing him gently, pressing quick kisses to his forehead, but nothing was calming him down.
"I know, baby. Mommy trying to hurry" I murmured, grabbing a bottle from the cabinet with one hand while trying to hold him steady with the other.
But his screams only got louder, his tiny fists clenching as he hollered. I pressed him closer to me, feeling the heat of his frustration, and kissed the top of his head again.
I quickly scooped some formula into the bottle, keeping an eye on him as he flailed in my arms.
"You mad at me forreal big boy?" I said with a sad smile, even though I felt just as desperate as he did to calm him down. I poured the water into the bottle, shaking it up quickly while he kept screaming in my ear.
I shake the bottle with one hand and testing it on my wrist. Finally, it was ready.
"Alright, alright, here you go," I whispered, bringing the bottle to his lips.
The second he latched on, his cries died down, and I let out a sigh of relief, kissing his little head as he sucked down the formula.
"You good now?," I asked softly, swaying with him. He settled into me, his tiny fingers clutching onto my shirt, and I smiled down at him.
Greedy and impatient babies. I made another bottle for Onyx, and honestly, I don't know how I held and fed Brennox with one hand while fixing another bottle, but that's the strength of a mother.
If I'm being honest, I wish Beyoncé was here with me sometimes when it gets this difficult. It was 5 a.m., and I was exhausted. My babies are four months old, and it's hard doing this by yourself.
I walked back into my room and saw Onyx still sleeping. I placed his bottle on my nightstand, then took the bottle from Brennox so I could lay him down.
His face scrunched up, but I quickly put the bottle back in his mouth. I tucked a blanket underneath to hold it up for him and sighed.
I leaned back against the headboard, feeling my eyes water. I didn't want to feel like I was tired of them because I'm their mom, but it was hard. I felt panic rising, and tears started to fall. I grabbed my phone and called Beyoncé-I didn't even know if she was awake.
I let it ring for a few seconds, and finally, she picked up.
Beyoncé answered the phone, sounding groggy, like she'd just woken up.
"Hello?" I could hear her shifting around, probably sitting up in bed. "Nicki?"
I tried to speak, but my breath was all over the place. I couldn't get the words out, just the sound of me sniffling and trying to pull myself together.
