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This book contains mature themes, explicit language, and scenes of a sexual nature intended for adult audiences only. It is rated R and is not suitable for readers under the age of 18.
Trigger Warning:
This book also includes depictions o...
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Onika Maraj Manhattan Hospital
July 21, 2025
I sat there in the cold, too-bright hospital conference room, shaking so hard I could barely hold myself up. My chest felt tight, and it was like every breath was a struggle. I kept one hand on my belly, trying to remind myself to breathe, trying to keep the panic from swallowing me whole.
But I couldn't stop seeing her-Beyoncé on the floor, blood pooling under her, her face pale. I couldn't get it out of my head, no matter how much I tried to push it away.
I felt like I was drowning.
The door creaked open, and two cops walked in, their faces all serious and businesslike. One of them stepped closer, speaking in this tone that was probably supposed to be gentle but only made me feel worse.
"Ma'am, we need you to tell us what happened. Can you walk us through it?"
I tried to speak, tried to find words, but nothing came out. My mouth opened, but it was like my voice was gone, buried under all the fear and pain. A
sob slipped out instead, breaking the silence, and I gripped my stomach tighter, like I could somehow hold myself together that way.
"Ma'am, we need you to talk," he said again, firmer this time, like he thought I could just snap out of it if he pushed hard enough.
Before I could even try to force out a word, Kelly was at my side, stepping in front of me a little like she could shield me from everything.
"Give her a moment, please," she snapped, her voice sharp even though I could see the tears in her eyes. "She just needs a second."
The cop looked irritated, his jaw tight. "We need her statement as soon as possible."
Kelly crossed her arms, not backing down. "Yeah, I know, but she just found her girlfriend shot on the floor, bleeding out. And she's seven months pregnant. Show some compassion and give her a damn minute."
There was this tense silence, but then the cop sighed, like he was frustrated, and nodded.
"Alright. We'll give her a minute," he said, and they backed out of the room.
The second they left, the door flew open, and Lauren rushed in, her eyes wide and frantic. "Nicki, what happened? They paged me."
Seeing her was like a dam breaking inside of me. I fell into her arms, my whole body shaking as I sobbed against her. I tried to speak, tried to tell her everything, but the words came out all tangled with my tears.
"I-Lo, it's-she's-" I could barely breathe through the panic that was crushing my chest.
Lauren wrapped her arms around me, holding me tight, her hand stroking my hair like she used to when we were kids and I was scared. "Shh, it's okay, I'm here, baby. Just breathe, alright? What's going on?"
