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Beyonce Knowles Nicki's Home
December 31st
Tomorrow marks a new year.
If I could describe this past year for me and my family in one word, it would be... unpredictable.
From working on a case that's still not completely finished, to finding love unexpectedly, to having twins, to me being kidnapped and hurt, Nicki being hurt, Blue being hurt... it was all too much, and I just wanted this year to be over. I needed peace. We all did.
What got me the most was finding out that the most respectful, kind individual we trusted to watch our babies was actually related to Sonya the whole time-her mother.
After the explosion, my team located her trying to get on a train out of New York. She's in jail now, and I have yet to visit and question her.
I needed to be here with my girls, to help them through this, just like every other challenge we've faced.
Throughout my adult life, I made it my mission to have my own-own house, own car, own money... so the fact that my house caught fire-it hurts.
I worked so hard for this. My daughter grew up there. Thankfully, the whole house didn't burn; we caught it just in time. It was my room and part of the twins' room-Sonya knew exactly what she was doing.
They wanted Onika alone.
I went into Blue's room. She was up, cleaning. I closed the door softly behind me and sat on her bed.
"Hi, baby," I said.
She kept sweeping. "Hey, Mama. You okay?"
"I came to ask you that. Are you ready for therapy today?"
She sighed. "I guess I have no choice. I'm honestly tired of therapy, tired of going through all this, tired of us being hurt, tired of New York," she said, and I was taken aback.
It was rare for her to open up like this, to just let it all out.
"I appreciate you for letting me know how you're feeling," I said softly. "Tired of New York?"
"I don't want to be here anymore, Mama. Not just for me but for my brothers too. I want us to go somewhere else," she said, and her eyes told me she was serious.
"Then we will go," I replied without hesitation.
"But what if Mom doesn't agree? She just found her real father and sister. What if she doesn't want us to leave them behind? And what about T.T. Solange and Kelly?" she asked, worry filling her voice.
"Baby, you need to stop stressing about everyone else," I said, trying to reassure her. "The only people I'm concerned about are you, your brothers, and your mother. We've all been through so much, and trust me, T.T. and Kelly wouldn't let us go without them."
