𝘔𝘖𝘕𝘖𝘊𝘏𝘖𝘗𝘚𝘐𝘚 ❁ 𝘑𝘑 𝘔𝘈𝘠𝘉𝘈𝘕𝘒 & 𝘒𝘐𝘈𝘙𝘈 𝘊𝘈𝘙𝘙𝘌𝘙𝘈

𝘖𝘕𝘌 𝘏𝘜𝘕𝘋𝘙𝘌𝘋 𝘈𝘕𝘋 𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘝𝘌

┏━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┓
❝ for as long as your heart desires ❞
┗━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┛

𝘚𝘺𝘭𝘷𝘪𝘦'𝘴 𝘗𝘖𝘝

I wait until everyone is huddled together on the top level and JJ wanders away from the group, allowing me to follow him. I find the blonde boy leaning onto the railing at the front of the boat and before I approach him, I glance back up at the others.

Pope and Cleo are laughing together at a joke I didn't hear and Sarah cuts in with another joke, making them laugh louder. Kiara is the last person my eyes fall on and she is staring right back at me.

The Carrera girl gives me a reassuring smile and it's all I need to gain enough confidence to turn back to JJ.

"Hey, hot stuff" I greet my boyfriend, leaning on the railing beside him.

"Hey, angel" He sighs, not looking at me.

"I'm sorry" I tell him, placing my hand on top of his "Nothing happened up there. I need you to know that"

"You love her, don't you?" He asks me bluntly and I take a deep breath, preparing myself to tell the truth.

"Yes, I do" I answer truthfully "I think I'll always love Kiara"

JJ lets out a shaky breath and he pulls his hand out from under mine, finally turning to look at me.

"I thought I had more time with you" He admits weakly, his eyes shining with unshed tears "I mean, I knew you weren't over her and I had a feeling you'd go back there. But I thought I'd get to have you for a little longer, you know?"

"JJ, I'm not breaking up with you. You can have me for as long as your heart desires, which I hope is a long time" I assure him, taking his hands into my own and his face contorts into a look of pure confusion.

"Okay, I'm going to need you to explain 'cause I'm really confused right now" He pleads and I smile at him although my own eyes well up "We're not breaking up?"

"I hope not, because I am very much in love with you and I don't know what I'd do without you" I tell him and his lips tilt up at one side.

"Listen, there's some stuff that I need to get off my chest and if you're unhappy with it all then I understand. If you don't want to be with me anymore, I won't blame you" I start my explanation off with the warning and he nods in understanding, waiting for me to continue "Just keep in mind that I love you and nothing I'm about to say will change how I feel"

"I'll always love you, angel" He assures me, giving my hands a gentle squeeze.

I take a deep breath and quickly go over in my head how I'm going to put this situation into words before I decide it needs to be clear, not sugarcoated with sweet words.

"I love you and I love Kiara equally. I know it might not make any sense but that's how I feel" I explain to him and he listens silently "When I was with her I always felt as though something was missing and I thought that meant I didn't love her like she loved me, but that wasn't true. It was you that I was missing"

"Me?" JJ questions curiously.

"I fell in love with you so easily that it felt like breathing to me, JJ. You are everything to me and even more than that. You saved me and I'll never be able to truly show you how grateful I am for that" I express myself emotionally, tears rolling down my cheeks and through my own tears I notice my boyfriend's beautiful tear stained face.

"For a while I tried to process Kiara's feelings for me and how to let her down easily, but I realised that I didn't want that. I don't want to reject her love, I want to keep it and reciprocate it the way I do with yours" I clarify for him "Wanting Kiara doesn't ever mean that I want you any less. I honestly couldn't want you any more"

"So what you're saying is that you want us both?" JJ inquires, trying to wrap his head around my words and I nod in confirmation.

"Trust me, I know how selfish that sounds. I couldn't even make sense of it myself at first" I unravel my feelings to the blonde boy in front of me "I guess I've kinda always felt like parts of a person instead of a whole person, if that makes sense"

"It does" He encourages me to keep talking.

"To me it feels like you and Kiara both hold different shards of me that you can't take from each other. You both understand me like no one else ever has, but in such different ways. It's like I only ever feel whole when you both love me, and not being able to love you both back is killing me" I rationalise my thoughts and JJ rubs soothing circles onto the back of my hand with his thumb.

"I think I understand how it works, but I want us to sit down with Kiara to talk about how this is going to work" JJ declares and I look up at him in awe.

"Are you serious? You still want to be with me?" I question my boyfriend in disbelief.

"I'm serious, angel" He confirms reassuringly "I can't promise that I'm going to know how this works, I've never done this kinda thing before. But for you? I'd give you anything to make you feel whole and happy"

JJ opens his mouth to say something else but I cut him off by grabbing his face and pressing my lips to his desperately. We melt into a warm embrace and he takes a hold of my waist, kissing me so passionately that I almost forget where we are.

Our lips part and JJ rests his forehead on my own, the both of us grinning at each other lovingly. My heart beats against my ribcage in a familiar pattern that only ever happens in the presence of the boy in front of me and the girl waiting for me upstairs.

"You're it for me, Sylvie Cameron. I want you for the rest of my life and then again in the next one" JJ murmurs sincerely, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips "Even if that means I have to share with Kie"

"You are so incredible, JJ Maybank" I beam at him in joy "I won the fucking lottery with you"

"I guess I am pretty great" He teases and I giggle happily.