Elemental: We are all murderers #2

Chapter Fifty-One

Azania

It's pouring rain outside and I'm soaked from head to toe, but I still knock on Tony's door anyway. Some stupid part of me expects him to answer, but instead a lady with brown hair and green eyes answers the door. I'm guessing that it's Tony's daughter. "Hi."

"Hello. Are you here to give you a condolences?" "Yes, I am." "Alright. Would you like to come inside? It's pouring." "Yes, please. Thank you." I step inside. And she leads me to living room. It's an old style house with wooden flooring,

a wooden staircase and an open entryway to the living room. I sit on the old style couch, a wooden coffee table in front of me and an old rug underneath it. The lady sits in the couch across from me. "You know, my father used to tell me all different types of stories about a girl with silver streaks in her hair.

He told me that she was like a daughter to him. That he hoped I would one day meet her and I've always wondered what she was like. Hearing all of these stories but not really getting to meet her. I expected to see her at the funeral. But she never came."

She said, tilting her head a little bit to the side. I look down at my hands, fiddling with them. "It's my fault that he's dead." "It's not." "It is." "No, it's not." She said again, in a hard voice this time. "My father was protecting you. He died to protect you because he knew that you had to keep on living.

You have a purpose. I promise, it's not your fault he chose to step in front of those bullets for you." "He shouldn't have. He really shouldn't have. I have nothing going for me in life." "It was his choice and he chose to save you. Now you have to live.

You have to live for the sake of him, so that he didn't die in vain." "I'm so sorry." "Don't be. My father got to live the last few years of his life happily because of you. You made his life good." Tears have been streaming down my face for quite a while now, but I don't pay them any mind.

"It's not your fault, it never was and it never will be." "How am I supposed to let him go?" "You keep on living. And you let yourself feel it, otherwise it will consume you. Grief is a powerful thing."

"In that case. Can I feel right now please? Because I really, really can't hold it all in anymore. But I knew that I needed your permission too. Because he was your real dad." "He was both of our dads.

You don't need my permission to feel and also I was looking through his things and I found something for you. And my name is. Anna, by the way." Anna stands up, goes upstairs. It takes her a few minutes to come back. By that time, I've already wiped my tears.

She hands me a letter with my name on it written in cursive. I know that handwriting anywhere. It's his. I open the letter right then and there because it is the last thing. That I could connect with him.

If you're reading this, that means I am dead. Don't be sad. I only wrote this letter so that you know that you are my daughter in every way that matters. It might not be by blood, but it is by heart, and believe me, that is even more powerful.

I want you to know that I love you unconditionally. I may be gone physically, but I will always be with you no matter what. You are my daughter, don't let anybody tell you otherwise, even yourself. One day you'll find you happiness.

I'm just upset that I won't get to see it. I wish you all the best on the journey of life. Even if I'm not there to celebrate with you. This is my last letter to you and my last words to you. I love you Azania and that will never change whether I'm six feet under or I'm alive.

You have snuck your way into my heart one step at a time, and I'm not going to let go. Even if the in the beginning I thought you were an annoying little kid you still are. But you're my annoying little kid. Forever.

Love Tony. Your father.

As I was reading the letter, tears were streaming down my face, but once I finished reading it, my hands were shaking so much. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I let go of all of the emotions that I was keeping inside ever since Tony died.

I fell forward onto my knees, shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. Letting him go. Is the hardest thing I've ever done. But I have no choice now and that's what makes it so heart breaking.

Anna's holding me, holding me in her arms, but it doesn't make a difference. I'm just a ball on the ground, shaking and sobbing. My screams and cries are probably heard throughout the neighborhood and I don't stop. I'll never see him again. I'll never see him smile.

I'll never ever step into the stables knowing that he will be there. He won't be there to brush Silver's hair any more. He won't be there to feed Silver. And take care of her. He won't be waiting for me at the stables anymore. I won't get to see his face or hear his voice. I won't get to hug him ever again. He's gone.