Petals on The Moon || Reyna Ramirez-Arellano x Fem!OC

LXXIII

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Dear Diary,

I didn't like the way Suki acted like I'm only trying to start dating a boy because I have to. That's not it at all. I think I want to get into dating. I've never really done it before, and I figured it might be fun. Besides, Soledad really wants me to get some hobbies and interests of my own. I've already done that with all the books I'm reading. My options were either taking a weaving class or trying to put myself out there. I chose the latter.

But I didn't really like the boy I went to the wedding with. He got on my nerves after a little while. I was trying to listen to the lyrics of the original song Suki and Sebastian wrote, but he just wouldn't stop talking the entire time, and I couldn't catch all of the words because of it, which began to drive me nuts. After the song ended, he just kept talking. So I left.

Early the next morning, I popped by Suki and Sebastian's house. He opened the front door, and I noticed coffee dribbling down his chin and staining his shirt. "What's up?"

"Suki mentioned books."

He let me in. "SUKI!" I jolted at his loud voice in my ear. "C'MERE!"

Suki's head popped out of the basement door, and she quickly caught sight of me. "Books?" she asked. I nodded and she waved me along. Lisa and Felix's bedroom door was already open, and Suki just walked right in. I hesitated just outside the door, feeling awkward as she pulled a box out from under the bed.

She looked at me, then turned away. "Did your dad also not want you in his room?"

"Yeah," I replied. "He felt like the master bedroom just wasn't for kids."

"My dad, too. Lisa and Felix don't mind. We come in here a lot." She grabbed an old box and held it out for me. "This is all of her war strategy books."

"Thanks." I took the box from her, surprised by the weight. "I'd stay, but I gotta go."

"Okay." She turned off the light and left the room. "Be careful." She made a beeline for the basement again, and her head disappeared behind the door and down the steps.

I know something's wrong when she dismisses my presence like that. She's not very good at acting nonchalant. It's obvious how much she cares. So her dismissing me like that has to be some sort of tactic, obviously. She usually does this when she's displeased with something I do. Recently, the only thing is her being so adamant that I don't date a boy. Not sure why it would bother her so much.

I know for certain she has to be working some other angle. What angle, I'm not really sure just yet. I know I need to keep a closer eye out, and study her more. But I seem to get unreasonably distracted around her. Probably because it's just easier to let go and calm down. But it's not working in my favor, because I hate not knowing certain things. I like having everything laid out before me so I can make decisions, and make sure nobody can work against me when they get the earliest opportunity.

Of course, it sounds ridiculous when I actually write it down. Part of me thinks, You're fourteen, and you're convinced your best friend has some sort of secret plot against you. But everything else that's happened- or is happening- in my life completely negates that seemingly rational thought. My dad was... my dad. My sister left, my praetor betrayed the legion, Juventas humiliated me in front of all my friends, the Titans are trying to destroy all of Rome. There's too many reasons for me to have my guard up. If they're not with me, they're against me.