I would (A Justin Bieber Fanfiction)

Chapter 39

"Kate, I don't know what I did to deserve you. I don't deserve you. I love you so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But I'm also not going to let you be miserable. You love me and I love you, but sometimes that isn't enough. Kate I'm stupid and I keep messing up and I keep hurting you. And I won't stop making mistakes. If I could, trust me we wouldn't be in this whole mess! What I'm trying to say is that I am giving you an out. If you want to be done then you can."

"Justin," I say stopping him from going further. I make mistakes too. I made a huge one. Justin, I tried to kill you. I tried to take away your life. I was selfish and stupid. But you forgave me! You tried to find me! You saved me! Now I have to save us. If you could find it in your heart to forgive me I can forgive you. Justin when I was abducted I was taken advantage to the point where I couldn't speak I couldn't form words. I was so dehumanized that I couldn't even remember simple things. I didn't remember you. But you fought for me! You didn't give up on me. Justin I love you with all my life and I'm going to save us, because I wouldn't be me without you." I say these words to Justin and by the end tears are rolling down my cheeks. I'm so exhausted and sleep deprived that all I really want to do is just sleep.

"I'm going to be a better man. I love you so much and we're going to get through this." He says and puts my wedding ring and band back on.

"Can we talk tomorrow?" I ask stifling a yawn. I still have so many questions. But I seriously cannot keep my eyes open.

**

I wake up the next morning and last nights events flood into my mind and I feel like crying. I slip out of bed careful not to wake Justin and go into the bathroom. I step into the shower and make the water almost hot enough to burn but not quite. I take my time to let myself think. So, melody didn't actually die. I mean I shot myself in the head and I'm standing right here. If Brian could fix me he could fix her. But that's why Justin chose Melody. He chose her because she has a child. I feel a pang in my chest and I start to sob. He has a child with someone else. I know that he thought it was me and its not actual cheating, but still... And Justin thinks that I could be a mother to this child because we share the same DNA. Blood doesn't always make family that's something I've learned the hard way. If I feel anything for this child its resentment. I know it's terrible, but it's the reason Justin chose melody. It's the reason he lied to me. It's evidence of something terrible awful and painful.

I shut the water off and dry myself with a fluffy white towel. I really need to figure out my hair color situation. But I guess it doesn't really matter. After changing into some clothes provided by Alice I head downstairs. I see Selena and fiery rage builds up inside of me.

"Kate, how are you?" Selena asks carefully.

"Selena," I say sighing. "I don't want to talk to you now. Or ever really. I'm looking at you right now and I don't know who are. I don't know you Selena. You're not the Selena I knew." I say and walk back upstairs. I go straight into Andrews room and sit on the bed. I feel angry tears form in my eyes and I start to sob.

"Kate?" Andrews asks walking into the room his hair is wet from a shower.

"Why me?" I complain wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Kate, I don't understand why you keep going back to him. It just makes you miserable." Andrew says sitting next to me.

"You've never loved someone before have you?" I ask looking at him. He shakes his head.

"Never got the chance." He says. I smile bittersweetly and nod my head.

"You see, those moments when it is working when everything is just perfect. That's why. Because it's not all bad. Nothing is all good." I explain.