I would (A Justin Bieber Fanfiction)

Chapter 13

I blink my eyes open adjusting them to brightness. Oddly Justin's not in bed. Which does concern me, because that means he either is sick or is trying to make breakfast. Now, Justin isn't the most skilled and culinary arts. Neither am I. But I can actually cook something without having to call the fire department. Yes, it has happened. Although, they didn't believe us when we said were Kate and Justin Bieber.... So we just had to use the handheld fire extinguisher. Which did not go so well. We ended up redoing the kitchen.


I hear a crash from downstairs and decide I might as well just help him before the house burns down because fire department doesn't believe us. I roll out of bed and quickly brush my teeth and throw my hair into a bun.


I walk downstairs and am surprised to not smell any smoke.


"Justin?!" I yell walking into the kitchen. On the dining room table is a cute little breakfast set out.


"Hey! I made breakfast." Justin exclaims walking out of the bathroom.


"Really?" I say eyeing the pancakes, muffins, and eggs.


"Yes I made breakfast." Justin says wrapping his arms around my waist.


"I must say I'm impressed." I admit sitting down at the table.


"I decided to make you breakfast as good as the one you made for me a couple years ago when we met." Justin says.


"Yeah... that was a long time ago." I reply. I don't really like to talk about anything thing that happened in the first two years Justin and I met. Some things are memorable and really important me. Like our first kiss and I love you. But most of it just brings back dark memories I still have nightmares about when I was kidnapped. Justin used to make me meet with a therapist. But I never talked to the therapist. I just sat there and ignored the guy the whole time no matter what he said. I eventually I convinced Justin that I was fine and I didn't need to go anymore. But I've never healed after what happened.


"Kate?" Justin says waving his hand in front of my face pulling me out of my thoughts.


"Yeah! Sorry, I went to la la land." I apologize and grab a couple pancakes. "These are really good!" I exclaim shoveling a forkful of pancake into my mouth.


"I'm really glad." Justin says and glances at his phone.


"Do you have to be somewhere?" I ask.


"Uh yeah," Justin replies guilt flashing across his face.


"It's okay." I say and give him a reassuring smile.


"But I wanted this to be special." Justin says.


"It's okay. We love each other and that's all that matters."


"I'll be back in two hours. I just have to get some stuff done with the album." He says.


"That's fine. I have script to memorize." I say and stifle a gasp as I remember what the director said. My heart practically stops and I think of how many calories I just ate. There's no way I'm going to lose those ten pounds. How on earth am I gonna loose this weight?


"Are you okay?" Justin asks.


"Yeah! I'm fine!" I exclaim.


"Oh okay, I'll be back soon. I love you!" He exclaims and kisses me.


"I love you too!" I reply and kiss him. Justin leaves shortly and I'm left alone with the task of losing weight.


"I'm not going to be able to do this." I say out loud. Wait, there is actually something I can do. I've never done it before. Every teacher I've had has made it very clear that it's not something I should do. But if it'll help me lose weight I'll do it. I'm not gonna let my dream slip out of my fingers just because I'm fat. Ill only do it a couple times. It'll be alright. I'll lose the weight and nothing bad will happen.


I take a deep breath and walk into the bathroom and quickly wash my hands. I feel like I'm gonna throw up already. So maybe that'll make it easier. I start to gag myself, it takes a couple tries but finally I throw up. I don't stop until everything I ate is out. My throat feels like acid and my head hurts. It's probably one of the most unpleasant things I've ever done. But I need to do this. I have to. I can't be a beached whale.


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Thanks for reading! your comments and votes mean a lot to me. I also just wanted to say that if any of you are suffering from an eating disorder or depression but you just don't feel like talking about it to anyone because you're scared, or for whatever reason. It's okay. You can always talk to me. Just direct message me. You'll feel so much better after you tell someone. And after that it's so much easier to go and tell someone else and get some professional help. You can't take care of these things by yourself. It's okay to ask for help. Things will get better. Your not a gone case. You can better. You just need to ask for it. Which I know can be really hard. But you'll feel so much better. You're not meant to feel this way. And it's not just going to go away one day. So please don't be ashamed of yourself. Please talk to someone you trust. Just telling someone can make it so much easier. Anyways, I just wanted to say that. I love all of you. And it breaks my heart to think of any of you hurting. You deserve to be happy. I love you. Thank you. :)


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