Phoenix the Rising Alpha

83

Blazes POV:

I left the pack house and heeding to the home I shared with my parents and brother, not because I was running away from my problems with both Phoenix and Roswell, but because I needed the space to think about the pain, I have caused Phoenix over the past few years. Yes, I know I have hurt him because of my selfish obsession with his sister, but that does not give me the right to continue to hurt my fated mate.

My dad was very upset; well not upset exactly he was more like pissed off and I'm sure if I wasn't his son he would have hung me up and let me die when he found out that his favorite nephew was my fated mate and that I had continuously cheated on him for my selfish obsession. If you are wondering if my dad knew about my obsession, the answer is yes. I had told him that Lia was my idea, mate, and that I have been praying nonstop since I came of age to make her my fated mate. Of course, that did not go well with my dad or even with my father when my dad told him about my obsession. My father told me that it is rare to get a Prayer'd fated mate from the moon goddess because the moon goddess had already pick out the fated pair even before the werewolf is even born, and since both my brother and I are hybrids, we get a fated mate and a fated loved one. So when my dad found out that not only did, I not get my Prayer'd obsession, but I ended up being fated to Phoenix and that I was so pissed because the moon goddess didn't answer my prayers, I started cheating my my fated mate to release all the rage I had been feeling.

Yes, I know it does not excuse my actions, but at the time I was hurt, angry and full of all other emotions that I wasn't thinking straight and instead of being the mate Phoenix deserved I decided that my emotions and my selfish needs were more important than Phoenix, not only causing Phoenix pain but also my wolf, Nezm, My wolf disappeared every time I waws with someone that was not my fated mate.

I sighed as I walked throughout the house, heading to my room. I just wanted to have some space so I can think clearly so that when I did explain my reasons for everything I had done to Phoenix and that even though I do not expect forgiveness, but I will do anything and everything for Phoenix to get my mate back. I can still feel the love that our mate bond has created, but if I am being honest, there was already love between Phoenix and I since we were children. Phoenix was my best friend and someone I considered my soulmate, but not in the since of soulmate by being fated mates. We used to everything together when we were kids, and over the years, our bond grew to the point where we could communicate without even using words, but not the same ways wolves mind link. After reliving out childhood, I realized now that I have been completely blind.

The Moon Goddess was telling me already that Phoenix was my fated mate even before I came of age. Goddess, I am so stupid how did I not see our bond growing to the point that we could feel each other's emotions without being told how the other one felt. Goddess, I am such an idiot. 

Goddess, please forgive me for the hurt I had caused to one of your most precious wolves. I sighed once more. I was spacing out, realizing I have more to apologize for than I thought. I must have been zoned out because I did not hear my dad walking into my room. I actually did not know anyone was in the house until I felt a hand on my shoulder squeezing it. I jump startled but quickly calmed down as soon as I realized it was my dad.

'Why are you not at the pack house'. My dad asked. I just shook my head, not really knowing what to say. I know my dad wants me to talk to both Phoenix and Roswell as soon as possible, but I just need to clear my head thoroughly before talking to both of my mates. I heard my dad sigh as he sat on the edge of my bed, staring at me, waiting for an answer.

'I just needed time to clear my head before speaking to both Phoenix and Roswell.' I explained.

'I know its not easy to explain how immature you were acting, but you really need to explain yourself to Phoenix he has a right to know that even without the mate you do actually love him and have loves since you two were kids'. 'He also has the right to know that yes even though you cheated on him it actually had nothing to with him personally but because of your unhealthy obsession you once had for his sister.' My dad explained. I nodded my head, agreeing with him. He's right. I need to just get this over with and wait for what my mates decide to do.

'Don't look too worried even though you have hurt Phoenix, I know he has never planned to reject you'. My dad said. I again nodded my head. I knew Phoenix wouldn't reject me, but that doesn't excuse what I had put him through. I guess I'm more nervous about left out of my relationship with both of my mates. I mean, they deserve someone who had never hurt them. True, I had never hurt Roswell because I did not know he even existed, but I hurt I mate, and that is almost the same thing, right?

'Now head back to the pack house and talk to your mates. I want to see happiness in Phoenix eyes once again.' My dad said. I nodded, standing up and heading out of my room. 'Thanks, dad.' I said as I walked down the stairs and out of the house.

Goddess help me. I pray to the Moon Goddess.