Phoenix the Rising Alpha

75

Phoenix POV:

After a long and tiring evening and a much needed family time I asked my mate's to meet me back at the pack house so we can talk. I didn't want to talk to them with everyone around. My dad knew everything because unlike my father, my dad was still able to read my mind and hear my thoughts because that was one of his gifts that our Moon Goddess had gifted him. Not only could my dad hear my thoughts and read my mind but so could my mother. I figured the reason my mother was able to read my mind and hear my thoughts clearly was because she is part of my dad, but I didn't ask either of them. I was just glad that even at my lowest and I felt as though I had lost whom I was, both my dad and mother was able to break through my foggy mind and help me from becoming someone I truly was not.

I sighed as I hugged my dad and without telling him what was happening he just smiled and patted my back and walked away in search of my father. My dad and I had talked over the last few weeks about everything and what I plan on doing in about everything from Blaze's betrayal to the hurt I cause Roswell for the hatred I felt towards his so called best friend to the fact that like my dad i will be cable to carry my mate's pup's.  I actually don't know if I want my mate's to know that I can carry our pups just yet but like my dad said if we are going to talk about everything else why would I leave out that very important part of the information.

I wasn't sure how to explain to my dad about not being able to talk about that because I am not where I want to be with my mate's quite yet and I didn't want them especially Blaze to only focus on the fact that we wouldn't need to use a surrogate to have any pup's. My dad said he understood but still felt that, that bit of information should also be shared with my mates. I just shrugged my shoulder's and starting thinking about what he had said.

Maybe he is right, but I havecthis nagging voicevin my head, (and no it's not my wolf Midnight) that right now is not a good time to tell my mate's especially Blaze about me being able to have pup's,  and because I feel it's not right to tell Blaze I won't tell Roswell either,  well at least not yet anyway.

I'm actually really nervous talking to my mate's about everything I have been feeling over the last few months, well more accurately over the last few years. I think me dealing with those two useless, nameless witches had brought up a lot of unwanted memories from Blaze's cheating and the hurt I caused Roswell by leaving his castle and the Alpha Academy without allowing him to explain anything to me or even without talking to him.

Unfortunately before we were able to truly talk and clear the air, if any more misunderstandings, everything with that worthless warlock happened and we were preoccupied with dealing with that, as fir Blaze I had always been nervous to get to the bottom of his cheating and him treating me as nothing more than just his dad's favorite nephew. In truth I didn't want to know the truth behind him sleeping with every supernatural creature and human that would lay down with him.

I sighed heavily, rubbing my hands together nervously trying to calm myself down. It was hard but some how I was able to calm down enough to open the door after smelling both my mate's scents before they even had a chance to knock on my door.

'Phoenix you have been acting really distant lately, and now you want to talk.' 'What's up?' Blaze said, asking me. I just left the door open and walked into the living area of my room, waiting for them to walk into my room.

'Maybe calm down a little.' I heard Roswell's thoughts as he walked in behind Blaze.

I smiled already knowing that Roswell was always the level headed one of the two of them.

"Please have a seat." I told them both not really looking at either one of them.

'Look Phoenix i know you have been through a lot the last few months, and I also know that the reason you blocked us out was because you didn't want us to feel your pain, but what I don't understand was why the sudden shift'. Roswell rushed out while taking a seat next to Blaze on the love seat. For a split second I felt a surge of jealousy run through me,  but quickly pushed it away not wanting either one of my mates to notice it.

I sighed taking a deep breath and then began to explain what and how I truly felt.

'Wait you mean to tell me, you have been having these kind of thoughts and insecurities and instead of talking it out with us you chose to block us out?' Blaze all but yelled out towards me.  I just nodded my head not saying anything.  Can you blame me though? This is my mate the one that the Moon Goddess had chose for me and instead of embracing our relationship he chose to ignore me and treat me as someone who didn't matter to him.

I sighed trying to find the right words to say without snapping at him.

'Blaze calm down.' Roswell said grabbing Blaze's hand and calming him down, once again a spark of jealousy ran through me quickly.

I stared at both my mate's and realized that they had became extremely close while I was trying to fight the darkness that tried to overthrow take me.

'Like I said Phoenix i understand your reasoning behind you blocking us out, but you have to give us something more to make it understandable to others.' Roswell complained. Understandable for other's? I thought to myself then realized he was talking about Blaze. Of course of all people Roswell would understand me, because as soon as we met I was able to tell him anything and everything so he knew about Blaze and my insecurities about mate's and love.