Phoenix the Rising Alpha

85

Blazes POV:

I stared at my mates trying to get words to come out of my mouth, but every time I opened my mouth to explain exactly what had happened and why, my mouth became dry and my throat would clog with unsaid words.

'You need to stop being a coward and talk, before we lose mates.' Nezm growled through our link. I knew he was right and believe me I tried but nothing came out after my first initial statement.

"Look Blaze I know it's hard to just open up and explain everything to us, but we are your mates and talking to us should be one of the easiest things you should be able to do no matter the reason for the conversation right?" Phoenix said causing me to nod my head. He was right I should be able to talk to them about anything no matter what.

'You're being selfish again.' Nexm growled out at me through our link again and again I agreed with him because he was right, I was being selfish once again. I took a deep breath and decided to just say what I came here to say and wait for either one of them or both of them to except me or reject me, and honestly I' thinking it'll most likely be a rejection, but like both my father and dad said no matter what happens this conversation needs to what no matter the outcome.

'Okay, so when I was a very young pup, I had developed a very unhealthy crush on Phoenix older sister Lila.' 'Over the years she became my obsession, so much so that I prayed for the Moon Goddess to make her my true fated mate.' 'Unfortunately, well fortunately I was not granted her as my mate but her brother, and even after knowing that Phoenix was my mate and not his sister I could not except it, so I started acting reckless and hurtfully towards my mate just so that he can feel the pain I felt for not getting the mate I wished for.' 'Yes, I do know that does not justify my behavior towards and around my mate, especially since Phoenix and I were pups we were so close that I should have recognized him as my mate and not just some pip that I was going fond of.' I rushed out explaining to both my mates of why I acted the way I did.

I waited silently with my head hug low as they processed what I just said. I waited and waited and waited for what seemed like an eternity before I heard a very sad laugh coming from one of mates. As I brought my head up to look into my mate's eyes I was shocked to see that it was Roswell laughing sadly and not Phoenix.  Well, I shouldn't be surprised I'm sure that Phoenix already knew the reason for my stupidity over the years.

'You mean to tell me that even though we were close to Phoenix while you two grew up and instead of seeing him as your true fated mate you obsessed so much over his being praying, she was your mate, you ignored all the mate bond between you two?' Roswell all but growled out at me. I didn't say anything in response I just nodded my head confirming what he just asked me.

'Oh, you have got to be kidding me.' Roswell huffed out angrily. I just sat across from them and watched as they communicated between them two. I was sure Phoenix knew the whole and not the watered-down version I just told both of them and I'm sure Phoenix was telling Roswell our conversation is far from over. I sighed waiting for them to stop linking each other so Phoenix or even Roswell can ask the questions they want to ask me.

"Thats not the whole truth is Blaze?" Phoenix asked me sounding calmer that I thought he would be. I shook my head confirming his question.

'What else is there?' Roswell growled out. I watched as Phoenix put his hand on Roswell's arm to calm him down.

'Okay Blaze why don't you finish your explanation so that we can finally get this chapter over with and out of the way.' Phoenix said. I nodded my head yes and began finishing explaining why I was a selfish male-wolf and hurt the only one, well in my case one of the only two supernatural creatures that I am meant to love, cherish and respect.

'As I am sure you are well aware you have never seen my brother or for that matter even Phoenix sister Lila.' 'Well, that is because they are actually true fated mates and after they found out how obsessive I was over Lila they decided to move away from this pack.' 'With the help of both my parents and Phoenix parents they actually started their own pack, of course it's nowhere near as large of this pack but it is still a pack.' 'My brother was upset with me always trying to get close to his mate, and of course Lila never cared for me the way you care for a mate.' 'I was hurt and heartbroken because the one thing I prayed the Moon Goddess for, she gave to my older brother.' 'Before they left to start their own pack, I going try to drug Lila to make her think I was my brother so that she would mate and mark me instead of my brother, but of course that did not work, and I thank the Moon Goddess for that because I would have crossed a line that I could not have come back from.' 'After my parents found out and they talked Phoenix parents they help locate and uncharted land and bought it so they could start their own pack.' 'My father was very disappointed in me and after Lila and my brother left I was grounded for almost six months to try and help me get over this obsession, but nothing work and as soon as I was released from my granulation I decided if I couldn't haver the wolf I prayed the Moon Goddess for I would just be single, ignore the mate bond and sleep with whatever willing supernatural or even human creature, and so that what I did over the last two years.' 'Not caring about anything or anyone.' I finally explained my whole reason for being the worse mate that the Moon Goddess had ever created. I explained huffing and trying to catch my breath.

"Wow". Phoenix said.