Phoenix the Rising Alpha

76

Phoenix POV:

"I know I need to make others understand, but what I need you to know is, I will work on not shutting you out." I linked Roswell at the same time while I was talking to Bkaze.

I didn't want Blaze to know I was having a separate conversation (through our mind link) with Roswell while I was explaining to Blaze why I had shut them both out, and to make sure Blaze didn't suspect anything I stared straight into his eyes and explained to him how after I ran from the Alpha Academy without explaining anything to Roswell just like I ran from my own pack house to the Alpha Academy without dealing with him, that I had a lot of pint up insecurities that I had never really dealt with before all this other stuff started to happen.

I also explained to him that no matter what all three of us have gone through over the past almost year, that we truly never sat down and talked about how our relationship was going to work, or the fact that he  and I never talked about his cheating and ignoring me while still being upset that I had another mate that was willing to accept me wholeheartedly without question.

'Don't be too harsh.' I heard Roswell say through our link and for a split second I almost looked at him but caught myself in time. I still didn't want  Blaze to know  I was linking Roswell while I am trying to talk to him. Blaze has a lot of things that he needs to explain and if he finds out I'm linking Roswell, Blaze might take offense to that. Truly i don't care right now,  but I didn't want to cause an argument with him right now.

Yes I know it's wrong because I would be upset if it was them linking each other while I was trying to understand what had happened betweenBkaze and I, but like I said Blaze has a lot of questions to answer for and while I'm talking to him I still need to talk to Roswell about something that we need to work out between us, yes it's not as bad or as hurtful as with Blaze but we still have some things to work through, that's why I'm linking Roswell and talking to Blaze.

"Roswell I can feel how close you and Blaze have become and that's fine what's not fine is the fact that what should have been a happy relationship turned into resentment and anger". "Not only has Blaze ignored me while he started going around and sleeping with any and every supernatural natural creature that would spread their legs for him but he also tried to play it off as him not knowing we were mates". "Plus the fact that instead of talking to me he decided I wasn't worth his time for an explanation". "I'm sorry but I deserved more than he gave me and I want to know why". I rushed out through our mind link.

'I understand'. Was Roswell's reply.

He may think he understands but in truth he doesn't really understand. I can feel the bond between both Roswell and Blaze and it hurts knowing that they formed a bond that doesn't include me their mate. They have a different kind of bond and once again I'm on the outside looking in trying to figure out what I had done wrong to be an afterthought or something similar from my mate's.

After I get the answers to my questions from Blaze I will talk to the both of them openly about anything they want to talk about or know, but until I get my answers without probing their minds and their most inner thoughts I will not be answering anything.

"Look Blaze I have have given you enough chances to answer my questions that you have dodged over the years with out me probing your inner thoughts, but time is up now you will either answer my questions truthfully or our mating will be separated". "You will be with Roswell because I can feel the fondness you have for each other, and I will be with Roswell, because unlike you Roswell excepted me wholeheartedly without question". "Instead of us all being together, Roswell will be in two different relationships and the one he chooses marks will be his mate and the one he chooses not to mark can either stay or decide to reject the mate bond and leave". "Whether that is me or you all depends on how truthfully your answers are" . I explained to Blaze. 

While I was talking to blaze I could feel Roswell in our link trying to cut me off before I said something I might regret, but I ignored him. I have chosen that no matter the outcome I will not longer wait for my mate's to choose me. I should have been their choice from the beginning. Yes I know Roswell had chosen me as soon as I walked into the Alpha Academy, but lately I feel as though I am an afterthought with him to.

I know I shouldn't feel this way because we are mate's, but after feeling like an afterthought all my life, (except from my father and dad) I just do not feel like being one anymore. Call me selfish but I don't care. I want answers and I think and believe I deserve answers.

'All's I can say is I'm sorry'. Blaze finally replied. 

I froze at his nonchalant way of answering my question. Really answering apology, but one I feel that isn't coming from his heart. It feels as though he's just trying to rush this conversation. Is he joking?

"I'm sorry what did you just say"? I asked harshly.  I heard him sighed and apologized once again. I stared at him stunned.

"See this is why I made the decision that you will choose who you want to mark". I linked Roswell. I stared at both my mate's and I can feel Roswell's disappointment, but I don't know who he's disappointed with.

"So that's it a lame apology is all I get"? I asked Blaze.