Catch Me When I Fall [BxB]

A Word of Advice

Jatix looks thoughtful.

"I only knew half the story myself. Now that I know a little more, it's making it easier for me to understand, and therefore, forgive. It seemed worse before. And no, I won't kill your dad."

I quietly sigh with relief.

"I'm glad your mom finally told you that at least. It's about time." Jatix adds.

I nod.

"But she probably wouldn't even have if I hadn't overheard her." I say sadly.

Jatix glances at me sympathetically.

"I'm betting that's all she told you, too." Jatix mumbles.

"What do you mean by that? Is there more I don't know about?" I ask. 

My heart is racing now, maybe a little more from excitement. Perhaps I really do have this half-sibling?

"I don't know. I don't know what you know and don't know and what she's all told you and hasn't. But she's known all along that Rassler was your dad."

"Oh. Yeah, she did tell me that." I say, feeling both relieved and dispirited at the same time. 

I really want to ask about this potential half-sibling, and I really don't want to. I almost wish I could go back to not wondering, not even knowing.

Though it's also exciting?

It's all so confusing. Maybe I'm not ready for that chapter just yet.

"Well that's good."

"You've must've hung out with her recently." I mention. "For you to know about that incident with that scary lady. My mom also told me you both never got divorced." I bring up.

"No. After I found out what had happened, she got out of there so fast. My... family... can be a bit intense and I think she was just trying to protect you."

Jatix pauses.

"To be fair, I was also pretty mad. I didn't want anything to do with her and Rassler, so when they left, I was glad I didn't have to see them or think about them. I figured it'd help me get over it sooner. So now, we never technically divorced. It's just... a complicated situation."

"I get that. But what about now? You're both back in each other's lives and on peaceful terms... why don't you get divorced now?" I ask.

Jatix doesn't reply right away, his expression pensive.

"I.. I don't know." He says finally. He almost seems a little nervous right now.

"Do you still love her?"

Jatix reflects momentarily, then glances at me.

"I don't think you can ever truly stop loving someone. You can get really mad and like them less and less, even want to never see them again. But the heart has muscle memory. It doesn't like to let go so easily. It will always remember, especially the best moments."

"That's actually... kind of beautiful." I say.

"I suppose. But it can also be the death of you. Prevent you from being able to move on. Or even be able to remove yourself from the situation when you need to."

"Yeah... I guess that's why a lot of people stay in shitty relationships. I suppose they're always hoping that somehow, they'll be able to return it to what they once had."

"Exactly." Jatix replies. "I don't love your mom in the same way I used to. I'm wary, anticipating I'll get hurt again if I open up my heart to her that way. But there's always the wishing that it would've never ended that way. Then there's the constant trying to justify things that no one else around you would even consider. When you love someone, like truly love them... you sometimes make exceptions you shouldn't be making."