Catch Me When I Fall [BxB]

Secrets

"What about?" My mom asks.

I don't like that she looks worried.

"Did you know he was my dad all along?" I say, glancing to Rassler.

When my mom seems stuck on her words, I explain why I think that.

Even though I was suspicious she was lying, it still hits really hard when she admits it.

My voice feels caught in my throat at first as I try to process.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why did you lie?" I ask. "You told me my dad left after I was born and that he definitely meant to..."

"I know... and I shouldn't have, I just... I didn't imagine Rassler and I would ever get back together. And I knew that if you knew he cared about you, you'd want to see him."

"I guess that makes sense... but it still would've been nice if you just told me that."

"I'm sorry, Khai."

"Did you know, too?" I ask Rassler.

He nods.

"I did."

"It's not his fault though, Khai. I ran away from him with you when you were a baby and didn't tell him I was leaving or where I was going." Hazel interjects.

"But he went along with the lie..." I point out.

"Yes, but I did ask him to."

"I don't understand why you had to lie about it, though. What you told me now... you could've told me when he first moved back in..."

"I know... I should've. It just seemed like the easiest explanation... I wanted you to have a good experience and I didn't want you to be angry or upset when you met him for the first time."

"Why'd you even leave him? Did you guys break up?"

"No... not really."

"Then why couldn't he have moved with us? Can you just tell me what happened?" I ask, getting a little impatient.

My mom sighs.

"I'm married to another man and I cheated on him with Rassler and had you. I left with you because Rassler and I were both ashamed and I didn't think it was safe, because as you can probably imagine that man had some angry family after all of that. I figured the less people that knew where I was, the better. I made a lot of stupid decisions in that time period, though."

"You said you are married... to another man... not that you were..." I say, stuck on that topic.

"Yes... we never actually got divorced-"

"Mom!" I exclaim, incredulous. "Wha- how do you feel about that?" I direct towards Rassler.

He just shrugs.

"I know what it's really like, it's a sort of complicated situation."

I feel like I'm caught in some dream. Or... nightmare -where I'm living with parents who everything I thought I knew about them and even what kind of people they are- is suddenly proven wrong.

"It's not... it's different than... it sounds worse than it is, Khai. It's not like that between Jatix and I, we're technically divorced... just not... officially."

Cause that makes sense.

"Wait, so Jatix is your husband..." I say out loud to process it, even though I could have construed that earlier. "Does that mean he's technically my step dad?"

I feel like my brain is melting.

"Yes... no... not really? I don't know."

"Why didn't you get divorced?" I ask.