Madness: DxD

Infernal Reshuffle

A pair of oversized gold-trimmed doors groan open as I shove my way in. The room beyond looks like someone let a drunken interior decorator loose with unlimited funds and zero restraint. Lady Phoenix is sprawled across her massive bed, tangled in sheets, tits above the blanket. She's very clearly hungover.

Look at her. Disgusting. If she wasn't useful you'd have gotten rid of her already.

Legend: Alright, firebird, time to rise from the ashes. Preferably without the screaming.

She lets out a muffled groan and drags a pillow over her face.

Phoenix: Y/N... it's the middle of the night. Come back when the world stops spinning.

Legend: Can't. If I wait until morning, I'll lose momentum, and you'll pretend this conversation never happened. I need your attention now. Preferably conscious.

She peeks out from under the pillow. Her eyes are half-lidded, glowing faintly, and definitely judging my life choices.

Phoenix: You're serious. Why are you serious. Why at this ungodly hour.

Legend: Because I've made a decision. A big one. I'm moving in.

No. No, no, no. Don't let her think she gets to have you. You're mine.

She blinks slowly, clearly buffering.

Phoenix: ...Moving in? Here? With me?

Legend: Unless you've got another volcanic bird-woman hidden in the drapes, yeah. You. This place. Us. Cohabitation. Try to keep up.

She sits up slightly, rubbing her temples, damn her tits are nice.

Are you staring at her? Stop staring at her. She's nothing. Say she's nothing.

She's useful. You said it yourself.

Phoenix: You woke me up to tell me you want to live together?

Legend: Partially. The bigger thing is that I'm taking over the underworld.

Her face goes blank. Then confused. Then resigned.

Phoenix: ...Taking over. As in...?

Legend: Governing. Overseeing. Running the whole infernal mess. Start to finish. I know I'm already the leader here but I'm planning to work full time now instead of the monthly visits I'm giving.

Phoenix: I'm too tired for this.

Legend: Well, sober up. There's more.

She slumps back into her pillows with the aura of someone who desperately wants a do-over button.

Phoenix: Fine. Go on. I'm bracing myself.

Legend: I'm dissolving the devil council.

She makes a noise between a choke and an exasperated gasp.

Phoenix: You're what?

Legend: Gone. Poof. Off the chessboard. They're nothing but a bunch of rich morons with their own interest at hearts. So I'm cleaning house. And while I'm at it, I'm reshuffling the entire political cabinet.

Yes. Burn them all down. You don't need anyone but me.

She squints at me like I'm a hallucination.

Phoenix: And you want... me... to do what?

Legend: You're my vice. You're more than involved. You're my political workhorse.