Open Closets

Coming Out

A/N: hey lovelies, so this is the first chapter, it's written by the wonderful mytroyetoy. She is an awesome writter and a great person. She allowed me to use her coming out A/N on wattpad and she also wrote an entrance. And she also gave me the idea for the title.  I'm really happy she helped me, a big thanks to you girl, ilysm <3. So with no further due let's begin.

Coming out is one of the scariest things I've ever done, but it is also one of the best decisions I've ever made. All through my life I was scared, I lived in fear of my emotions because I didn't understand them and I didn't want to. I wanted to pretend they didn't exist because I was too afraid of them, but now I realize I had nothing to be afraid of, because the way I felt wasn't anything to be ashamed of. Love is love, regardless of what anyone says, and the moment I understood that was the moment I could be happy with myself. I like girls and some people might not understand that, but that's okay, because it's my life, and the opinions of anyone else aren't going to change how I feel. Coming out is scary, but it's also liberating, and although I haven't gotten entirely positive reactions I still think it's the most wonderful thing I could have ever done

A/N: Coming Out/Rant
Hi guys! So guessing by the title of this authors note you can probably already tell that after 2 years of hiding my true self I'm finally coming out as a lesbian. I just wanted to share my journey a little and talk about why this is so hard even though it shouldn't be and I don't know if anyone will even read this but if it helps just one person then this was all worth it.

I told myself I would never come out, that i would always just stay in the closet and pretend like I was straight, and I think that's the saddest thing I've ever thought. The fact that I was so filled with self hatred because I like girls is absolutely insane, and the fact that I've spent night after night crying myself to sleep feeling like a disgrace because according to society I was wired wrong is just disgusting. I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm not a disgrace, I'm not a sinner, I'm not a abomination; I'm just a girl who loves girls and the second I stopped praying I was straight and started praying I could accept myself for who I truly was I became the happiest person I've ever been.

I never thought I was gay, to me the idea of being gay seemed impossible, and I blame that on society. I never thought I was gay because from the moment I was born society has deemed me to be straight. When I was 5 on the playground and held hands with a boy my parents smiled thinking I would marry him. When I was 12 and worked with a boy for the science fair my parents thought I liked him. When I was 15 and I texted my mom telling her I was going to my best friend's house (who is a boy) she assumed we were dating. Ever since I was born it has been assumed I am supposed to like boyes, because that's what society says. It's basically an unwritten law at this point: boys like girls and girls like boys, end of discussion.

But I don't want the discussion to end there, I want it to continue, because I like girls. I love the way they smile like the world is theirs when they see something beautiful. I love the way they smell like vanilla soap and lavender body wash and bath and body works perfume. I love the way they twirl their hair and laugh in the sunshine. I love the way they stay up late at night contemplating why the stars shine or why we have dreams. I love everything about them, the good and the bad, the flaws and the perfections, i just love them. And if you tell me I'm a sinner for loving someone so deeply that I want to hold their hand for the rest of time just because they are the same gender as me then I'll gladly burn in hell for the rest of eternity, because I don't regret who I love for a second.

Most people say they always knew they were gay, but for me it was a bunch of clues that all came together one day when I was 14, and that was the scariest day of my life. I'll never forget the moment I realized I was gay, it was cold outside and I had a long sleeve shirt on, and a girl I met at camp was completely infatuated with touched my shoulder, and I know I sound like some cliché idiot talking about sparks flying through my body but that's what it felt like. It was pure magic, and I just wanted to wrap her in my arms and kiss her until the sun came up, but I didn't. I just sat there to scared to move or breathe because I didn't know what to think. I tried reasoning with my thoughts, suppressing my feelings because I was so sure I was straight up until this moment, but it felt like my entire life had just changed in an instant.