Open Closets

Embrace the moment - one

'Embrace the moment' - a story of an average bisexual girl.

A/N: hey lovelies, this is a slightly different chapter 27, it's written by the talented LiLuLee. This is part one of her story, she will write more that just one chapter, so this will be a series and I will updated whenever she has time to write...
I really hope you like it and consider this the 5K special.

'ONE'

My name is Lilu, even though my parents decided otherwise long time ago. My name is Lilu and I have short hair and I like boys' clothes, even if my parents disapprove it. My name is Lilu and I like writing and reading erotics about gay people, more than aware that my parents would killed me for it if they ever found out.

Hi, my name is Lilu and it just me.

I do not label myself because labeling means limitation and I do not like being limited. But since it's a book supporting LGBT+ community, I think I could share with you some of my experiences and stories from the past which are related to my sexuality, and I hope that you'll find it interesting to continue the reading at least.

So shut the f'uck up, sit the f'uck down, because it's a storytelling time, baby.

While talking a bath during one of those chilly, Autumn evenings I found myself thinking about my past, more specifically about the thing that I had always felt different from my peers. And it was nothing very tangible, nothing that you could notice on a first glimpse, it was something that I had been keeping hidden inside me for a very long time. A secret. A secret I was so afraid that it could be revealed. And a secret that I couldn't understand nor pinpoint to anything when I was a child or a teenager because it felt so odd.

I think that it all started 20 years ago when I was in a kindergarten. I never really enjoyed playing 'the house' with other girls, and meanwhile they were practicing being future moms, I usually joined boys, playing with cars, building up streets and towns of blocks and chasing them in the playground. My first friend was one of the neighbor's kids who lived across the street and I can clearly remember him coming to my backyard and playing with me in a sand box since I was two and he was three. We were inseparable back then, playing 'secret agents', climbing up trees and messing around when we were older. We were buddies, and I think it was the first boy I friend-zoned in my life, even if I was thinking about kissing him more frequently the older I got.

But speaking of kissing, I am referring to those days because it was the time I experienced my first kiss but not only with a boy...

When I was in a kindergarten we had a huge hall where all toys were placed and children came there to play between the lessons. It was also a place of secret meetings between boys and girls. So, in that room there was a huge furnace with a gap which was separating whole thing from a wall. The gap was too small to make an adult to fit in, but as small as a six year old can be, our little bodies fitted there perfectly. I can remember myself lurking there with boys and practicing kissing during our free-time in a tons of laughs and giggles. But do not get this wrong, the kissing sessions were very innocent and the kisses were the sweetest and mouth-closed as they could possibly be.

Yet, my mother, who was also my teacher, found it very uncomfortable that I was sneaking there with boys and doing such immoral things on her shift. So, one day she decided to have a serious talk with me. She sat me down one evening and completely forbade me to go there with the boys ever again.

And I agreed because I didn't want to make my mother angry at me but... there is one thought which appeared in my mind in that very moment and linger there to these days.

'But I can go there with the girls, right?'

I'd never asked this question out loud, even though it didn't stop me from persuading the girls in my group to go behind the furnace. Some of them were very reluctant towards the idea of kissing another girl but all in all, I cannot really recall any of them refusing me at the end. ;)

Now, I found it amusing that being a child I found both kissing boys and girls as equally exciting and enjoyable. It all seemed so natural back then when no restrictions imposed by the society was thrown on my face, where no prejudices and no limits were present in my mind. I was unaware of all the things which were socially acceptable or not, and it all felt just right, on spot, okay. Too bad that those days were gone quickly and I had to face the reality of the world way too soon.