Open Closets

Fucking perfect

A/N: Hey lovelies, this is the 40th chapter and its written by SylarPetering. He read this book and blew up my notifications with votes, so I messaged him, saying thank you and that it made me really happy that he liked the book. After a few days he asked me if he could write a chapter and ofc I said yes. I'm very glad that our readers sometimes participate and write chapters, it always shows me that we are an community and work together. Thank you so much for helping <3.

The song that is attached is called fucking perfect by pink and i really love that song, the video can be pretty triggering though so pls don't watch it if it could trigger you.

*trigger warning*

I'm @SylarPetering on Wattpad.
This is my story so far...

I spent two years knowing who I am and struggling to stay alive. I would cry myself to sleep and ignore people all day. I refused to be in the house on the weekend. I didn't want to be with my family, so I would go over to a friends house. I was uncomfortable there too, but I figured it was better than being with my family.

Then, it got to the point where I wouldn't even go home after school. I would just go with a friend because I felt worse at home.

Then, on June 28, of this year, I came out over email. The worst way to do it people! I couldn't sleep after I sent it. I sent the email at two in the morning. The next day my mom found it and called me to her room. She was crying and asked me if I sent it. They thought my email was hacked or I was joking.

I don't find my life a joke. I was so much happier when they told me they would come to accept it and that they would love no matter my gender.

A week later it went for the worse and I was very depressed. Then, I found Wattpad. I read 24/7 and my parents don't really payed attention to me. Then I found people that were like me and could relate. I love me. I wouldn't change myself.

After that, my mom set up appointments with my new therapist. I went and was very nervous with my parents in the room. They said that if it was my older sibling they would have understood. Why would they say that?!

The depression came back and I was sad all the time. I refused to eat and I stayed in my bed all the time. I though about dying and wished it would happen in my sleep. I woke up the next day to just brake out in tears. I cried because I woke up and didn't want to.

That night I cried hard and prayed that I would wake up as a boy. I knew it wasn't going to come true and that hurt a lot. Waking up the next day and going to the bathroom was horrible. I cried then my sister came in and tried to help, but I just pushed her away. I told her I hated everyone and no one meant anything to me.
Now I wake up everyday and read on here. I take the time to think how my story isn't as bad as it could have been. It could trigger people, but it isn't truly that bad. I don't have it the worse and I am aware of that. I try to hang out with my family more now, but usually I am reading. Wattpad helped me and I hope it helps a lot of other people too.

That is my story and where I am now. I am FtM transgender and I am proud of it. People can hate, but I am very gay also. Gay as into boys only. Sometimes it confuses people and I don't appreciate that. I mean, my gender is male, therfore that makes me gay! Very gay! Not to the point that I could be your sister, but still gay.

Last thing is thank you to Josi for letting me write on here. I appreciate the fact that she let me. And a thank you to everyone that reads my story.

Open Closets is the best book I have read on here and that is a big compliment. I have already read over two-hundred books. Yet, this is the one that makes me smile the most. The one that makes my whole day. Stay with this book. It helped me a lot!

A/N: Thanks again to SylarPetering for helping me and I'm so so glad that this book makes you happy and helped you.