Open Closets

Change my mind

A/N: Hey lovelies, here is the 19th chapter, its written by the incredible chellobuttz, she is such an nice person and I'm really glad she helped me, a big thanks to you girl. <3

*trigger warning*

My Name is Korra, I am 15 years old and I am also a lesbian and this a bunch of events that have happened to me/my coming out story.

When I was 8 I started thinking about girls, they were all over my mind and this one girl maria (she was held back) and she was beautiful. I started to stare at her, until she would get really creeped out by me and tell the teacher and when the teacher asked me about it, I would never say it was because I thought she was beautiful but I would always make up something. Why couldn't I just tell my teacher the truth, I thought something was wrong with me, I changed my name to Sam and stole my brothers clothes and wore them at school for 3-4 grade.

Fast Forward into 6th grade.
I knew I had an attraction to the same gender but I would shove those feelings down and cover my sexuality and try to convince myself I liked boys. I dated two boys and hated every second of it, because I felt like I was tricking them, I felt guilty because I wasn't honest with them. But I never fell into a state of depression because of it.

7th grade was the best year.
I came out to my parents and they both loved me for it and accepted me, I started coming out to friends and it was a huge step for me because I was catholic school, but the best thing about catholic school is that the catholic church accepted gays and I had the best teachers in the world I still write to my english teacher, 7th grade will always be one of the best years of my life.

8th grade was so bad.
My one friend kept trying to commit suicide, she was cutting herself, she hated herself. There was a catch though, she tried to kill herself because I didn't love her back. She constantly wrote me suicide notes, tapes, texts, social media posts about how she could't take it anymore, because the person she cared for the most didn't love her back.
I felt so guilty, I was offered money, collage funds, cars, expensive bags from her mom pleading me to date her daughter, but I couldn't. I didn't loved her. After that I hated cutters, I would walk away from people who tried to reach out to me about their cutting, because I never wanted to ever be the reason behind someone cutting themselves ever again.

Then July, 11, 2015 happened, the summer after 8th grade. I would always go skate boarding around my neighborhood at night because if I did it during the day my neighbors would call me faggot and throw things at me. Anyways, so I was riding on my skateboard when two guys jumped me, they were wearing masks and they held me down and carved the word FAG on my right shoulder blade. I hate that fucking word so fucking much, it makes me feel so fucking disgusting. They told me to stop being a queer but I wouldn't stand for that. I continued to be lesbian, I never told anyone about anyone I loved because I didn't want them to seek revenge or try to convince me to be straight for protection.

9th grade - my first girlfriend/sex
I met an amazing girl named may she was absolutely beautiful. About 3 weeks ago my parents and my brother went out of town for a week so I invited her over and the first thing we did was go for a nice stroll while we were walking people would throw things at us, call us names and pull our hair, it was awful and it ended up with may running back to my house in tears. I was devastated because I love her so much and it pained me to see her cry and be hurt in any way. When I got home the bathroom door was locked, and I was getting worried because may was not responding to me, I kept yelling and screaming and shoving my body against the door and when the door finally gave up, what I saw horrified me, there she was my beautiful may shaking, crying in the corner of the bathtub blood running down her arms the look on her face still haunts my dreams. I did the only thing I thought I could do, I held her and she cried in my arms and looked up at me and said "Korra why do you still love me? You heard what they said" I simply shook my head and told her "May I love you so much and nobody will ever change my mind". She looked straight into my eyes and whispered out "prove it". So I leaned in and kissed her. It turned out into a full on makeout session and we ended up in my bedroom madly and passionately kissing. She took her shirt off and told me to take off mine, because of my scar she thought I was being insecure so she pinned me down onto the mattress and unbuttoned my shirt. And I gasped SO loudly, she didn't say anything she traced her fingers over each Letter and placed her lips softly on my scar, I started crying not tears of sadness but tears of joy because may made me feel accepted and loved.

A/N: thanks again to @chellobuttz (ugh why is wattpad not tagging you, sry) for helping me. I'm really glad you and may are happy together and that you have her, I'm really proud of you for being so strong and standing up for yourself, ily.
If anyone of you needs anything or wants to talk please message me or any of the other authors or comment, we are here for you. you are not alone.

Sorry that this is so late there is just a lot going on rn and I'm on vacation so I'm really busy. hopefully it will all go back to normal in two weeks.

I'll see ya soon with another update lovelies,
Byeee ♡♥♡