Open Closets

Steps

A/N: Hey lovelies, here is the 21st chapter its written by the wonderful Troylerphandomattack, she is such a sweet person and I'm so glad that she helped me, a big thanks to you girl, <3.

OK I just want to point out before we start, that my story is fairly long and I suck at writing. I also want to say that there are some very personal thing in here but I am sharing them to help others so its completely worth it.

First signs:

In like 3rd grade or so I had a friend named Emily. We were really close and one day we were waiting in the hall for the bell to ring, then all of a sudden i leant over and kissed her cheek. Absolutely no reason at all, just did it

When I was like 9 years old I moved to Illinois, so my step father got me a tablet. Granted it was 2008 and the tablet was fairly sucky compared to what we have today, but it was the shit when I got it. I immediately went to my room and shut my door to watch YouTube videos. Not the YouTube videos I watch today, but the funny ones of baby's laughing and looking for episodes of good luck charlie and listening to the crappy country music my mother raised me on.

Anyways, after a couple weeks, I realized that YouTube and solitaire were not the only things my little tablet could do. So having heard the word from my perverted (in a funny way not a weird omg get me away from him way) step father, I went and looked up the word porn.

Little old fairly innocent me was very surprised at what came up. My virgin eyes were looking at something I had never seen before. So I clicked on a video and just kind of watched I guess. Nothing happened just me being curious and wanting to see what he had been talking about.

Now what came up first was some straight video and my eyes went wider than ever as I watched. I had no idea what was going on. All I knew was that I was not supposed to be watching anything like this. But apparently I didn't care cause I watched multiple videos.

But, one time I came across a video of two girls instead of a boy and a girl and I guess it just made sense to me.

OK so enough about that I swear I'm sorry and my cheeks feel like they are gonna melt off of my face.

Realization:

I was twelve years old, had just moved back to my home town, and was once again the "new girl". I was nervous as hell and all by myself. I knew only 2 people and I hadn't seen them in 2 years. So all alone, I walked into my first class on the 2nd week of school. It wasn't unusual for me to start late because of me having to settle before I could start school.

I walked in and the teacher came over and told me where to sit and where to go and all of that. So I sat where she said and hung my back pack behind me on the wall of hooks. I was sat at a table with three other girls, and one of them just happened to have the same name as me. We were both awkward and shy and after the teacher told the girls at my table what my name was, she had them tell me their names.

First was this girl named Sela (you say it like seal and then add uh) and then Brooke and then what would be my best friend to this day four years later, Bryanna. We were almost immediately best friends and we did everything together. she introduced me to three other girls who I was also friends with.

I was very confused at the time and had just barely learned what gay was and what lesbian was. I had these feelings towards Bry that I couldn't even describe. I had no idea the entire first half of 6th grade what it was and why I felt like that with a girl. All I wanted to do was be with her 24\7 and hug her and hold her hand.

But I ignored it. Acted like all the other kids as best as I could and just hung out.

Later though I got sick of pretending. Pretending to be just like everybody else. So I told one of the three girls that I was a lesbian. She completely accepted me and hugged me, telling me everything was gonna be okay. Then I told Bryanna. Let me tell you it was one of the hardest things I have ever done.