Open Closets

the Truth about Jeanne

A/N: Hey lovelies, this is the 42nd Chapter and it's written by one of my closest internet friends. She has a very different and interessting view on everything, so this is something slighly new. (Pls don't get offended)

I am not responsible for any grammar or spelling mistake I refuse to be. Just bear with it, please.
If any of the following offends you well, I am not responsible for your reactions but you shouldn't waste your time getting worked up over this anyway.
I don't know a quarter of all the existing labels and genders. If someone were to walk up to me saying they are greygender I wouldn't have a clue about what they are talking about. Or demisexuality no idea what this is about. Me? My name is Jeanne and I don't care.
Jeanne is an online alter ego I created way ago. At first, it has been just a name I liked. As time moved on, it became an identity. Jeanne was my way to communicate with people through texts without feeling ashamed or the usual sense of alienation because she belonged somewhere. She became a worthy member and supporter of the LGBT+ community going on and on about equal rights and justice. Always prepared to get riled up over homophobic or transphobic comments. For that solemn purpose, she would spend her time watching every single video on youtube with even the slightest bit of queer content to internally fight and shoot all the LGBT+ haters in the comment section (anyone else noticed how some of them watch surprisingly many queer videos just to hate them?). Jeanne knew what she wanted and dreamt for. She was lesbian and didn't hide it. I followed through with this identity far enough to come out to my mother and a bunch of friends.
Now, I am not going to deny that I sometimes feel emotionally and in a few rare cases even sexually attracted to girls/women. But I would be lying if I said I was born like that for sure. To be honest, I can come up with quite a few psychological reasons on why such a development might have taken place. One and half a year after giving birth to Jeanne I buried her forever (the identity not the name since I like the ring of it. Might as well call my future daughter Jeanne). I took my time to think about life, identity, god and sexuality. I used to envy people for having an identity and being so sure of their preferences. Thats why I created Jeanne. But she wasn't the answer to my problem.
I dont know if sexuality is something determined by birth. Still, the possibility remains. I doubt though that it is that way for everyone within the queer community. The psyche is very powerful, afterall. Of course, everyone is free to live a happy life. In my case, chances are high it was a subconcious decision. Maybe I will lose these feelings in the near future after letting go of identity and my past. As for the transgender in LGBT+: I dont believe you get born this way. I rather see it as part of your identity which is just a concept and exchangeable. It is not only biased on your preferences which change usually over the course of time anyway. Even emotions can't determine who you are. So, should we send transgender people to therapy to cure them? Nope. Unless they want to and there is nothing to really cure. There is nothing wrong with them. I feel free to say something is different with them, though.
I don't judge anyone. The only value I use to compare peoples life when it comes down to it is their happiness. If you are happy being a genderfluid pansexual or cisgender bisexual heteroromantic then
be it. Your life, your choice. Happiness is the only thing that truly counts. Live your live fully and happy. Afterall, your truth is as good or bad, right or wrong as everyone elses. Believing in it makes you no better than me who doesn't. I am no smarter than you just because I don't have any truth like that. I respect the rules made to keep our society working and obey those meant to ensure our freedom and those meant to protect us from harm.
All I am asking of you is to be kind and patient with people like me who don't care about labels and know nothing about them. Tell me how you want to be treated and I will try my best to make you feel comfortable and secure. Don't shove your sexuality or identity in my face and show me the person underneath.
My name isn't Jeanne and I care about humans. Perhaps I am gay. Perhaps I am not. I couldn't care less.
Be safe, be yourself and most of all be happy. You deserve to be loved no matter who you are or what you identify as. Love is free. Well, mine might not be free yet but it is awfully cheap. If you like this chapter and/or support this book you get an even better discount!