Open Closets

This is only for the time Being, it will get Better

A/N: hey lovelies, here is the 36th chapter, and its written by the incredible karrieb15, she is so strong and sweet and I'm so unbelivably proud of her for being herself and not giving up. Ilysm, thank you for helping me girl, <3.

Let me just say now that the family I live in, which is my biological family, is very religious. In the house I live in, cutting your hair isn't allowed, let alone being in love with someone of the same "gender". My story starts with my 14 year old self. I had somewhat figured myself out, and was a very happy fangirl with a Troyler fan account. One day I was scrolling through Tyler Oakley's favorites because he was filming a q&slay, and I happened to stumble upon a question I knew the answer to. A girl had asked him how tall he is, so I replied to her and followed her, and luckily for me, she followed me back. We talked for a while and became fast friends, we had stuff in common, and I couldn't deny that I liked her, without having seen her or talked to her. She had a great personality. So I asked her if she might be interested in being more than just "internet friends" and things escalated from there. It was summer, so we spent full days and nights talking. I fell in love with her, without a doubt. This human that lives 2,800+ miles away from me...I fell in love with her. About 3 months into the relationship, my mom took my phone to do a, what she likes to call, "phone check" - which is basically her way of saying that she wants to be nosey and run every aspect of my life. Well, she found out that I was talking to a girl, so she told me to go to my room and forced me out of the closet and made me tell her everything about my depression, anxiety, and homosexuality. I didn't try to deny it, so she took my phone for a couple of days and put a different passcode on it and gave it back thinking I couldn't figure out the code. I did the first night she gave it back to me, and messaged my girlfriend on a different account. I explained everything to her and made sure that she knew that nothing was going to keep me from her and my own happiness. So I waited out the "punishment", which would have lasted 3 months if I had not figured out the password. My mom made it so that I couldn't have an AppStore and blocked me from having tumblr, Twitter, and basically anything related to Tyler Oakley and Troye Sivan, and everything "gay" that could support me in my "wrong" thinking, even after the punishment was over. So I left it as it was and continued to talk to my girlfriend via Instagram instead. I never tried anything else with my fan accounts because I didn't want to get my baby taken away, because she is more important to me than most anything in the world. So, 2014 passed, along with all of that drama, and to this day I'm still dating that same beautiful girl and have been for 1 year and 10 months exactly on the day I'm writing this. Now I've discovered that, along with me being gay, I do consider myself to be bi-gender as well, but I go by she/ her pronouns. Not many people know that, but I'm okay with that, as many people don't know that I have a girlfriend either. I do consider myself lucky in the fact that I have found ways to keep my baby close, in some sense, and I haven't lost her through it all. So even in the darkest times, whether it's depression or other dealings with yourself, there's always going to be even a small light, if only that, that will no longer make it dark. Because darkness in a room seems to fade when even just a lamp is turned on. Not everything will be perfect, that may be true, but there will always be SOMETHING to hold on to.

If any of you ever need help or someone to talk to, you can always message me and I'll try my best to help.Always Keep Fighting <3

A/N. thanks again to karrieb15 for helping me, this text made me cry, firstly because it broke my heart how your mom who is supposed to love you unconditionally treated you and afterwards how happy you seem beacause of you girlfriend, this text is so beautiful. I'm so glad you have someone who is there for you and who loves you no matter what and helpes you through this time. Please stay save and remember I'm always here for you, for all of you.

Oh and this is the last chapter I had saved, so it might take some time for me to upload since I hate bugging, stressing people out or pressuring them, everyone gets as much time as they need to write a chapter...
So I'll hopefully see you soon with another Update lovelies, byeee <3.