Open Closets

Fear

A/N: Hey lovelies, here is the 15th chapter, it's written by the lovely annielovehappens. She asked me if she could write a chapter about the struggles of her best friend and I of course agreed. Thank you for this beautiful chapter. <3

I always thought that it couldn't be that hard to come out in our country. I'm from Norway, and most people here seem to be accepting. Therefor I always thought that it would be easier for someone to come out in our country, and my coming out as bisexual was quite painless. Of course there were people who didn't believe me, or didn't believe in bisexuality, but most people were quite accepting. But then my best friend told me he was gay and my entire point of view changed. He didn't have anything to be nervous about; he knew I would accept him. But I think that for him, telling me meant accepting that it was true, and that was terrifying for him. I didn't realize at the time how big that truly was for him, because it was not just about coming out and accepting him self, it was about opening a door to see the future he was meant to have but could never live. By telling me he saw all of what he truly desired but in his heart he knew that he would never be able to act upon his true feelings. And this in a country I always thought was accepting.
But cultures are different, and religion is always difficult. He is a Muslim, he is a liberal Muslim, but he is a Muslim. His family is Muslim, most of his friends are Muslim, and more importantly most of his guy friends are Muslim. Personally I think his mom might be okay with it, if I were to ever tell her. But his friends would never accept him. Because see it as disgusting, they see it as something wrong, something abnormal. But they only see it like that when it's a boy who likes another boy. Because girls liking girls is hot, and opens up for threesomes. That's why I was accepted, that's why it was okay that I was bi. After realizing this I went to my best friend right away and asked him if they were the reason he wouldn't tell anyone else. He nodded sadly and said "they can't know". And those three simple words kept repeating in my head. Because these weren't strangers online from another country that I saw in comment sections. These weren't stories on the news. These people I knew, and people I was friends with, people accepted me. And the worst part was knowing that I couldn't change it, I couldn't change their point of view. I tried, I challenged them and discussed it with them, but the thing is that people who believe something so strongly have to be shown otherwise in order for their beliefs to change, and my words couldn't show them the picture clearly.
Two months later he told a wider circle of our friends that he was bisexual. I remember being shocked and wondering what the hell he was doing until I suddenly realized that he was protecting himself. He knew that he would never be able to marry a boy, so he kept the girl option open so that he could date boys but still not have to commit to them. I have never felt so sad in my life before I came to this realization. Here was one of the greatest people I knew refusing to let the world know who he was because the world isn't ready for him to live his life fully. Here was one my best friends not daring to come out because of what other people would think of him. Here was someone I loved like a brother feeling ashamed of who he truly was. And I couldn't do anything. Because you can't out someone. You can't tell the world who they are for them. You can't control the world.
My best friend is currently nineteen years old. He likes hanging out and going to parties, but his favorite thing to do is have tea and eat macaroons at our local café. He will might never get the chance to truly be himself. And therefor urge whoever you are who's reading this right now, to live our life fully for his sake. Not everyone has the opportunity to come out. Not everyone has the courage to come out. Some people are just fighting their battles alone. So if you are fighting your battle alone please tell someone. Tell me, tell the maker of this book, tell a friend, tell the Trevor project, tell someone who'll understand. 'Cause some burdens are simply to hard to carry alone. I wish you all the best. And I wish for you that you fight, but try to find someone to fight with you. Just like I am for my best friend right now. There are so many army's to stand against, so many battles to win, and no one should have to do that alone.

A/N: thanks to annielovehappens for helping me again. I'm really glad that you sent this text to me and I wanted you to know that I'm proud to call you a friend and I wish the best for your friend. This chapter touched me a lot, Annie is such a loving friend and I'm really happy that he has her. Please never forget that you are not alone, there is always at least one person who accepts you. And sharing it helps a lot. I told a few of my closest friends about my struggling and the book and they were all totally excepting and happy for me, even though I just told them that I have no idea who I love, it still felt great. And even if you are not that lucky there is still someone and there will always be someone, I promise. Please message me or comment if you need anything or someone to talk to.
See ya soon with another update lovelies,
Byeee ❤️❤️❤️

oh my sry lovelies that this is so late... I thought I updated it, but looks like wattpad decided not to... Srew you wattpad!