Open Closets

Mirror talks

A/N: hey lovlies, this is the 34th chapter its written by the funny larrystylinson4dayz. She's really talented and I'm so glad she helped me, a big thanks to you girl, <3.

Hello! It's Rachel, better known as @larrystylinson4dayz on Wattpad

When I first started questioning my sexuality, I was 11 years old. Pretty young, in my opinion, to feel the need to know who I was. But I did. I felt like if I didn't figure it out immediately, that I would never figure myself out. Allow me to explain further.

I had this friend. She was funny, sweet, caring, and I constantly wanted to be with her and only her. She had long, curly, brown hair and these big hazel eyes that I studied intently every time she spoke. In my opinion, she was beautiful. Inside and out. Before I met her, I didn't have any questions about my sexuality. I told myself I liked boys, so these things I thought about her HAD to be friendly things. They weren't.

As the years went by, my feelings and thoughts became more frequent. So, I started dating guys. I would be with guys while thinking about her. I'd sit with my friends while they went all googly eyes over guys, and I couldn't get my mind off girls. It scared me. I didn't want to be different. I wanted to be in the norm.

The next while, my feelings towards this friend only grew stronger. I concluded that I was bisexual. I mean, I HAD to be, right? I couldn't have been a lesbian. So, I came out to this friend as bisexual. She, of course, completely accepted me and still loved me all the same. She also happened to be bisexual, which helped my courage grow.

As the months went by, I said to myself "I love this girl" and I knew it was true. I knew I loved her. She had been my best friend for a long time, and I knew it wasn't crazy to fall in love with her. Who wouldn't? So, one random night, I told her I was in love with her. I told her I loved her smile and her laugh and her sense of humour. I told her I was completely and utterly in love with her, and you know what? She told me she felt the same way all along.

We continued on with our lives, deciding to stay friends for the time being. I suddenly became extremely confused about my sexuality. I found myself ignoring boys and focusing on girls. I struggled with this for months, telling myself I HAD to like boys. I couldn't just simply be a lesbian. I cried myself to sleep for weeks because I couldn't handle the stress of figuring myself out. It was overwhelming me, so one meek night, I thought I'd just end it all. I decided to attempt suicide. I failed, obviously, but it had gotten to the point where I felt the need to do that.

They say the first person you have to come out to is yourself, so I did. I looked at myself in the mirror and I said to myself "I am a lesbian". I repeated that same sentence to myself multiple times, before I smiled. I began laughing, feeling completely serene. In that moment, I texted my best friend, and I told her. I texted many of my other friends and I said "I'm a lesbian". I came out to everyone who reads my stories! I have yet to come out to my parents, but I've learned to accept myself. I have learned that I am who I am, and I promise you WILL figure yourself out. Everything will be okay in the end, and that's a guarantee.

A/N: thanks again to larrystylinson4dayz for helping me, it means a lot.

I don't like asking for votes and things like that, but the reads and votes on the chapters sunk alot, but then they got up again in the last two weeks, so lets try to keep then up, so please vote for it so that more people find this book and so that it can help more people. Thanks in advance. I'll see ya soon with another update lovelies, byeee <3

If you needs someone to talk to, please don't hessitate to pm any of the authors or me. We are here for you.