The Sub Club (18+, bxb, mxm)

Chapter 11 Eyes on Me

Chapter 11   Eyes on Me

Ashton

I sighed softly, leaning back against the huge tree a safe distance from everyone else in the park. I value these moments, savor them knowing they never last long. I long for moments like these where I'm alone with my thoughts and don't have to worry about talking to others. Not that I dislike talking to people, just that I dislike the thought of having to talk to people. It seems no one values silence anymore, no one values peace and quiet. People think a conversation must be going on or 'it's awkward'. I find that strange, I like being able to sit with someone in silence and be comfortable. Sadly, none of my friends share the feeling. Well, Payton does. He's shy and most often quiet. Usually when I look at him it looks like he's lost in his own thoughts. I do find it humorous because when he sees me observing him he blushes like he's been caught doing something he shouldn't be. He, Tommy and Lane were my first friends at CSU. Tommy is really outgoing and friendly; the two seem to complement each other and since he's used to Payton, he knows not to push conversation on me and he knows I don't need to hear chatter just to fill the silence.

I guess it's the same with me and Chris, my best friend. Well, best friend after Sean but he's another story. When Chris is in a hyper mood he often crosses the line from outgoing to obnoxious, but most of the time he's pretty entertaining and I do sometimes, very rarely, find myself missing his company when I'm alone. Sometimes I even need space from Chris though and we've been friends long enough that he knows when to leave me alone. Lane is something else altogether. He's like a force of nature, sometimes calm, sometimes turbulent, crazy, but charming, you couldn't help but like him. People are just drawn to him, he can work a room like a maestro. Luckily he can tell when someone has had enough 'Lane' for the day and he either heads off or if he's in a mood, he'll be even louder and talk more.

Another sigh escapes me causing a cloud of fog to appear as I lift my head, gazing at the cloudy sky. Even though the clouds cover the sun, which is high in the sky, it still shines brightly making me squint and I have to look away as my eyes begin to burn after a few silent seconds. Laughter drifts into my ears and I look over towards the sound. A smile tugs at my lips when I spot a young boy, probably around 6 or so throwing snowballs at his father who pretends to miss when he throws back his own. My eyes drift around the park, spotting young couples playing in the snow, building snowmen, people jogging around the shoveled paths and some walking their dogs that are bundled up in their own doggie coats. Yet, not one person is alone.

Why? Why does everyone have to be with someone to be happy? I look down at the spot next to me, empty like usual. It's not a bad or upsetting feeling being alone so why do people make it seem as if it's so horrible? I think I'll never truly know the answer and it causes a frown to tug at my lips. I don't like the unknown, it makes me uncomfortable. The buzzing of my phone rouses me from my thoughts and I seriously contemplate letting the call to go voicemail. Give me another half hour please, I beg silently as my phone continues vibrating in my pocket. Soon, it stops and I close my eyes with a happy sigh while resting my head on the rough bark of the tree. The joy is cut short when my phone starts up again and I admit defeat before pulling it out of my pocket. Chris' name flashes across the screen making me frown. What do you want now Christopher? I think while hitting the accept button.

"Hello?" I answer softly even if my voice is slightly on the deeper side.

"Ashton! Why didn't you pick up the phone?" He complains loudly making me sigh silently.

"If I didn't pick up the phone, we wouldn't be talking at this moment would we?" I ask while standing up. My peaceful alone time has been ruined and reality is crashing back down on me, that and my ass is wet from sitting in the snow.