Stitches ~ Scömìche

I'm Left Seeing Red on My Own

Scott sat at his desk his hands in his hair. He never thought Mitch coming back would hurt this much. He still loved Mitch, he knew this, there was a part of him that Scott was sure would always love Mitch. But he loved Alex too. He loved Alex and he loved Mitchie. He had a family and he loved them. But he loved Mitch. Mitch the boy who was his best friend. Mitch the man who he loved. Mitch the man who was torn away from him. Mitch the man who he missed. But Alex. Alex the man he helped him through life when he thought everything was lost. Alex the man who learned to love. Alex the man he married. Alex the man he started a family with. Alex the man who saved his life.

Flashback

Scott could do it. He could. End his pain. End it all. He could end it. And he wanted to. He couldn't live without Mitch. Mitch was his everything and without him Scott was nothing. And nothing deserved nothing. So why was he alive? Why wasn't he with the man he loved? Why?

"Scott!" Alex. Alex would complicate things. Scott didn't even realize he was crying until tears splashed down onto his shirt. He didn't know that Alex had approached him until the knife he had clutched in his shaking hands was eased away. He was wrapped in a hug and Scott cried it out. With every tear Scott let go of Mitch. And he let go of the Scott that Mitch had made him to be. He was this new Scott and this new Scott was all Alex's. Old Scott died that night, and new Scott was born.

Present

But now Mitch was back and with him he brought the ghost of who Scott used to be. Oh Scott was tempted. He was tempted by this past him. The one that would dance and sing around the kitchen. Scott didn't sing anymore. It was too painful, it reminded him of those days singing with Mitch and that was too painful. But Scott wanted his old self back. It also reminded him of happy times. He loved to sing. It was fun and, not to sound arrogant, but he was rather good at it. Alex was always trying to catch him singing. But Scott didn't sing. Not even in the shower. That was old Scott. New Scott didn't sing, he doesn't even think he can.

Scott pushed himself away from his desk looking longingly at the phone. He wanted to call Mitch, spill all of his secrets, but this was something he couldn't tell anyone. Not even the person who knew everything about him. Well Mitch used to know everything about old Scott, but even old Scott had changed in his absence.

There was one thing he knew. Although he couldn't decided whether he was happy or upset about it. He knew that he was staying with Alex, at least for the moment. And at least for the moment, he was okay with it.

However the minute Mitch dips into his life again Scott knew he would fall apart.