Stitches ~ Scömìche

Begging You to Come Help

Author's Note

I added the video because this has been getting very depressing and I wanted you to laugh :) I laugh every single time. Also, sound is a little important so you might want to turn that on.

Mitch wanted Scott to noticed, wanted him to notice that something was wrong. He wanted Scott to help him! He needed Scott to help him. He was fighting a battle he was positive he couldn't win alone. Yet he was still trying. Why? Because he wanted Scott to acknowledge him. Make him stop pretending that he could do this. Stop pretending that everything was okay, because it wasn't. He wasn't okay. He hadn't been okay for a very long time. And Scott hadn't noticed, or didn't care enough to talk to him. To listen to the song "How to Save a Life", and perhaps Mitch would feel that all this pain was worth something. That he was worth something. But apparently he wasn't. Not to Scott anyway. 

"I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I no longer care about my health, or my happiness, or anything else. I don't even know why I'm still alive, here, breathing right now. I have no motivation to do anything anymore. The daily stress is killing me inside, and all the questions, all the doubts, everything, it just makes me slowly slip into my old habits again. 

Do you ever feel like you're losing your mind? Losing track of time and losing every single thing you've ever had? Like every single string inside of you broke. And it feels like being cracked open, hurts like hell, but in the end of the day you feel numb. 

I'm faithless and tired of living through people's expectations. I can't be what they want me to be. I can't follow the system they want me to follow. And it feels like everything I do is just another mistake.

And it breaks you, and takes your sanity away, and it makes you feel smothered and out of control of your mind, running out of control. Everything I once thought I would be is falling apart. I can't take it anymore.

I'm in a mess. And I don't believe I'll ever be okay again. Sorrow is the only thing I've got left. And I live every day of my life because I have to. Not because I want to. 

I'm a waste of space."