One Choice

Chapter 4- My Utopia:

Chapter 4-My Utopia

I closed my eyes but when I did, I saw his cold, heartless ones filled with pure hatred. I could still hear his last words and the honesty behind them. He really was going to make me regret doing that. I slowly got up from the couch and made my way upstairs. The ache in my stomach didn’t go away and my insides were still knotted. I laid on my bed and curled into a ball and began to cry. I can’t believe I’d been so stupid. Why did I do that?

I laid like that the rest of the day. I didn’t feel like doing anything or talking to anyone so I just locked myself in my room. Even when my parents got home, I didn’t bother speaking to them and they were worried but I told them that I was just tired and that I was going to bed early and they believed me.

I eventually did end up falling asleep but I was glad when I woke up in the morning. It was Saturday and I couldn’t be happier. I still had another day to wallow in my self-pity. I wasn’t going to get out of bed today. I could already tell. I got up and used the bathroom but since I decided I wasn’t getting out of bed today, I went downstairs to get myself some food and something to drink to take back upstairs to my room so that I wouldn’t have to come back down here the rest of the day. I found a box of cookies and a bottle of water and a bunch of fruit that I carried back up to my room and locked my door again, not wanting anyone to come in here. My parents were home but I didn’t want to talk to either of them because I knew they were just going to ask me questions about yesterday and I didn’t want to go through that. I got comfortable on my bed and dug into the fruit. Everything was so quiet. My parents were still sleeping down the hall and there were no birds outside. There was no noise at all except for me chewing on the fruit. It was strange really, but I kind of liked the quietness. It allowed me to think. I closed my eyes and breathed. This was the best time for me. Not having any interruptions, just getting to relax. But it didn’t last long. There was something deep inside of me that still felt empty. I felt like there was something better than this. Something that I needed to have to be able to be fully comforted. I frowned at this. What is it? I opened my eyes and they were on my window, looking out at something. The forest. I stared at it, trying to figure out what was going on when I felt a pull. I got up and walked over to my window. I couldn’t think of why my gut would be telling me to go in there. My curiosity got the best of me and I decided I could relax later. I pulled on a pair of black sweatpants and a gray tank top and climbed out of my window and down the tree. I didn’t bother putting on any shoes because I didn’t want them. I wanted to feel the earth beneath my feet. As I followed, I heard a familiar sound, the wind whispering my name. I’d heard it before.

I followed the pull until it got so strong I had to lean against a tree to keep myself from falling. I was panting as I leaned against the tree. But when I looked forward, I felt as if I’d just gotten the wind knocked out of me. Time froze and the pain in my stomach went away immediately. I stared at the meadow in awe. This is what the pull had been leading me towards. This is why I had a pain in my stomach. It all seemed like nothing now.

I pushed myself off of the tree and slowly walked to the meadow. I walked to the big open field of perfectly green grass and looked all around, wondering how such a place as perfect as this could exist in our world. I came here…some time ago…but I couldn’t remember when. It was as if everything left my mind and the only thing I could think of was this meadow. My safe place. The feeling of emptiness I had in my gut before vanished.

I walked into the huge field of wild flowers and sat down slowly. I didn’t want to disturb anything in this place. I didn’t want it to be a dream. If it was a dream, I never wanted to wake up. I slowly reached out a hand, just to make sure I wasn’t imagining anything and touched the green grass. When I felt the softness of it, I breathed. I ran my hand along a flower stem, up to its petals and giggled. Everything was real.