What if?- A Mockingjay Story

Chapter 4

Katniss's POV

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------What if? What if what I'm seeing is real? What if this child is lost? What if this baby has been abandoned? What if I am just seeing things? What if I am dreaming? What if I am sleepwalking and am about to wake up? What if? What if? What if..............
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I stare Down in shock as well as complete disbelief of what my eyes are seeing. It's a small baby alright, their face bright red as they cry softly. They are sheltered by the small ledge above the doorstep. They lie in a small carrier, a basket really and are wrapped in a blanket. The rain falls on them every once in a while. I stand out for a minute and look around in the darkness. Where is the mother of this child? And why is the baby left here? I say not too loudly

"Hello?"

Though after a few minutes of silence I know my voice is being heard by no one, that I am speaking only to the darkness of the night. I finally step back under the shelter as I am nearly soaked through my clothes. I look down at the still crying baby. I know I can't just leave the baby here. I sigh shakily and nervously pick up the basket and lift it inside. I shut the door behind me and bring the basket into the kitchen before placing it on the table. I decide to take the baby out of the carrier. I hold the bundle gently in my arms, pushing the blanket away from their face. The baby's eyes are a deep sea green, one I feel I recognise. I rock the child as they continue to cry. Suddenly a piece of paper slips out from a layer of the blanket and falls to the floor. I immediately bend down with the baby still in my arm and pick it up. It's a small envelope. I tear it open and unfold the small letter and read the cursive writing neatly written on it:

Katniss,

This little girl is now in your hands for a few years. I am not ready for her yet. I hope you learn to love her as if she is your own. I will be back for her when the time comes. I will be watching her, I promise. I am praying that within this time you will have with her you will regain your strength in life as well as get back your love. Please name her something beautiful and teach her to be strong and Please take care of her..........And thank you.

I read over the letter again and again. Then my fingers lose all energy and drop the letter on the floor. I begin to hyperventilate as a million worries as well as questions run through my mind.

I can't do this.

I can't mind myself never mind a child.

I can't do this alone, or at all.

Who send this?

Is this a joke?

IS THIS A FREAKING JOKE?!

I yell the final words out loud only making the baby cry louder. I feel bad instantly. I can't do this. But I don't have a choice so I do. I whisper

"Shhh. Don't cry little girl, I'm sorry"

She quietens but doesn't stop completely. I decide to put her in the basket and lift her upstairs, turning off all the lights behind me. I know by now it must be 10 o'clock. Once we get upstairs I put the basket on my bed and go into the bathroom. I come back with a towel and gently dab her face. I then lift her in my arms and sing softly to her the songs my father taught me as a child. Once I've finished singing she stares up at me her green eyes glassy yet the tears have halted and are no longer falling. I see a smile spread across the child's face. I feel a tiny one on mine. I rub my finger slowly on her cheek as her eyelids flicker, struggling to stay open. Eventually they come to a close. I give a small sigh of relief and slowly lift her back into the basket. I then grab a chair from across the room and place the basket on it so that the baby is right next to my bed instead of being on the floor all night. I slowly tip toe over to the dresser, grab my pyjamas and walk quietly out of the room. I spend the next hour in the bathroom crying. I know there is no way out of this.... I wish I knew who did this..... I know that I have to care for this child, no matter what I feel I can't give up. I can't turn out like my mother, I just can't. I pull myself together and get changed into my pyjamas before entering my room once more. I take a moment to stand over the basket and look at the baby girl. She looks so peaceful, she must be no older than a few monthes. I whisper softly to her

"I don't know who did this to you, dumped you here with me. I'm sorry you didn't get someone better but I promise you that you won't be here for long, Someday your mom will come back. I will be the best I can be for you, that's a promise..."

I plant a kiss on her forehead before climbing into bed. I fall asleep in fear of the years I have ahead minding the poor girl.