What if?
What if I need to stop asking myself what if? What if I need to stop awaking to a million questions of what will come with a day in my head? What if I need to accept the goodness in my life and not always be so prepared for the bad to come? What if I still am fully adjusting to this lifestyle of happiness that three years ago would only be a dream?
What if? What if? What if...
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The next few months flew by faster than I could process. The spring quickly turned to summer, temperatures spiking high almost as soon as the summer began. I feel that because we have been so busy that the sudden change of weather and season was something that threw us slightly. The bakery has been more busy than ever from custom orders to in-store customers but with all of us working together we find a system in which works well enough that all the work is completed in time which in the workplace is what makes the entire system successful. That's what makes the bakery work. Peeta and I are used to the system of teamwork, from being allies to workers. The bakery is brilliant, a way to distract myself from anything else bothering me or anxiously on my mind. Its a distraction, an escape in which my full focus is only on the work rather than anything else. But what I love the most is the moments when we return home, when Sophie is upstairs peacefully asleep and when I can enjoy a moment of peace and silence with Peeta. These moments sometimes stretch out over an hour or may just be a minute but these are the moments where I curl up in his arms and take in his scent and immediately I am charged within my veins with a sense of warmth, a feeling of comfort and calmness. I love these moments, we both use these moments to recharge ourselves, to breath out of relief and switch off from our constant focus in which we use throughout the work day. Yes work is obviously stressful at times and sometimes I feel completely drained after a day but I love meeting people working at the register and interacting and making myself a reputation for a normal person rather than 'the mockingjay'. In the end, I wouldn't have it any other way.
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June 20th. Sophie's third birthday. The morning started as normal until she awoke. She was so tired and still half asleep she didn't fully process it was her birthday until after breakfast. She got changed before we decided to give her her birthday present which was a new doll which she was very grateful for. For a four year old she has the biggest heart in the world. We have planned to take her to the bakery in an hour for her birthday party so I tell her to go get dressed. She whines at first so Peeta picks her up in his arms and lifts her upstairs whilst she screams excitedly in his arms as he tickles her and continues to carry her. I watch with a smile until they are out of sight upstairs and then return to the kitchen, taking a sip from my tea sitting upon the counter. Then I hear the flap of the mail box. I walk out into the hall and find a envelope and a package just about thin enough to fit through teh mailbox. I open the package up to find a dress, pretty with pink roses on it. From her mother obviously. I put it aside and glance down at the envelope still on the floor. I pick it up and run my fingers along the sides as I turn it over in search for an address only to find none and that's when I know who it came from. I return to the kitchen and sitting on a stool I slowly tear open the envelope and allow the letter to slip into my hand as I unfold it and reveal the writing to my sight
Katniss,
Today is Sophie's third birthday as you are aware. Unfortunately this year I have no birthday messages for Sophie this year on paper, in my heart her birthday wishes are contained and I somehow couldn't find the words to say to her this year but I know telling her anything about me will just arise problems and questions I know you can't yet answer. I just want to say that a year from now I will come for Sophie and my face of course along with my identity will be revealed to you. I know you await anxiously to see who I am, who wouldn't but I tell you to use your last year with Sophie wisely. I know that your time with her will be a huge impact on her life always so I hope you make it count. I know you will. I have put my trust in you from the beginning and I know you shall not fail me now. I will write again a month beforehand to tell you how I will meet you and where you and Sophie will part and she will return home. Then I will of course answer your questions and in my best possible way try to explain my actions. Thank you Katniss for everything
YOU ARE READING
What if?- A Mockingjay Story
Fanfiction*HUGE DISCLAIMER* I WROTE THIS WHEN I WAS 12YRS OLD, SO EXCUSE GRAMMAR AND CRINGINESS What if.....? Katniss has finally returned to District 12 both haunted and shattered by the past knowing the peace gained does not supply her with security and ha...
