What if?- A Mockingjay Story

Chapter 56

What if?
What if Gale is really standing before me? What if he wants something from me? What if I should run? What if it's not a good idea to just stand here and wait for him to say something, do something?
What if? What if? What if...
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For a moment we both just stand there, neither of us planning on speaking. He eventually speaks

"Katniss..."

His eyes find their way to his hands that still sit on my arms, soon to be pulled away. His eyes then look from me to glancing up and down the hall before saying in a quietened voice

"Can I talk to you?"

Talk. Or kiss? How am I supposed to trust him, after all he's done. How can I be expected to forget that all and go off with him. With no one around its the perfect time for him to kiss me like he's done before, taking me off guard. But not today. I will not allow myself to be tricked by him again. Besides its four in the morning, whatever he is going to tell me will most likely be brief. All of a sudden I nod. I don't know why I agreed, have him another chance. I guess inside you never lose hope of retrieving someone you knew who lost themselves within a time. He gestures me to follow him as he enters the dining car. We take a seat and a waiter comes to assist us which is unusual at this hour. I simply ask for a hot chocolate and Gale gets the same. He asks , just for the sake of conversation

"How are you?"

I reply bitterly

"Good"

When the waiter returns with the two mugs of hot chocolate I take mine gratefully and take a quick sip before placing it down on the table before me. As Gale drinks his I look at him. He looks decent enough, unlike me he is wearing clothes along with a blazer. He is hardly recognisable to me both looks and sight of mind. The war, this new world has changed him as it has changed us all. But his damage has turned him into someone I don't feel familiar with any more. But right now that's not what I'm worried about. I'm about to ask him something but instead he is already speaking

"Where did you get on the train from?"

I reply

"District 4"

He furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head slightly. And because the sound of his voice brings me such anger I just state it plain and simple before he can even ask

"I had a wedding to go to"

He nods. I know he most likely got on at district 2, where we stopped around 3 or 4 hours ago. Gale begins

"So how...."

But I can't take it. Can't keep listening as he avoids what I'm here for in the first place so instead I spell it out to him

"Gale. What do you want to tell me? Its 4am and I want to get back to sleep so unless this is important please let me leave if you aren't going to hurry up and tell me"

He looks at me with his deep eyes, as if they are searching me. For what? Trust? Shattered pieces like his own eyes contain. I know he won't find them in mine, I've moved on from our past between each other and therefore agreed to this. I know deep down he doesn't plan on moving on. After a while he puts his mug aside and places his hands on the table, folded before him. He says

"I'm going to the capitol. To supply my district leader with security there. All the district leaders are meeting there in 2 days"

I look at him for a moment before staring at the table. I shake my head in confusion as I ask

"Why?"

Then he gives me a look, a look I can't exactly identify as any specific emotion. So instead I await his next words to explain to me

"They are holding a meeting to vote on something. They discovered security footage of the hours before Coin's death. They found footage of you and the rest of the victors voting for the symbolic hunger games"

I feel a huge lump form in my throat. It's not too hard to connect the dots but despite it being obvious I've figured out where he's going with this he still continues

"They know the vote ended up being in favour of the games taking place but since Coin isn't in charge some believe that it isn't valid and some believe that it is so in the end Paylor decided that the fairest way of handling the situation was by holding a vote. A vote to determine whether the games take place or not"

I feel my heart race in my chest, my palms sweaty and warm and my mind whirling in many directions. After a while I say quietly

"I'm going to bed"

I get up from the table and begin to walk quickly down the hallway. I hear Gale say

"It was nice talking to you"

I glance back yet don't respond but quickly make it back to my room, sneaking in quietly. When I get into bed as soon as my head hits the pillow I go out like a light bulb. I don't even have time to completely sum up in my mind whether or not I will tell Peeta but by the morning the answer to that is obvious.