What if?- A Mockingjay Story

Chapter 12

What if?

What if this is it? What if This is the moment that lays out the path that I am about to take in my relationship with Peeta? What if that path is for love not friendship? Is that what I want? I know this is my opportunity to be honest and myself with him.... But worth Sophie that can't happen. But What if I tell him about her? Would that be fair? To drag him into the mess..... But What if I'm getting ahead of myself here? What if this is just a friendly....reunion?

What if? What if? What if?

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As soon as I try to walk down the steps I slip and reach for the pillar to try regain my balance. The amount of snow falling is increases. I take a moment before standing back up and slowly walking to Peeta's. It takes me two to three minutes but I am finally standing before his door. I take a deep breath before knocking. I feel the cold nipping at my fingers just as she opens the door. He smiles

"Hi. Come on in you must be freezing"

I thank him quietly and step inside. I slip off my coat and hang it on the hanger beside the door. He says with the soft smile still remaining on his face

"The fire is on. You can go sit by it. I'll be in with food in a minute"

I reply

"Okay"

He walks into the kitchen as I turn for the living room. I sit by the fire ad put my fingers nearby the flames. As I watch them dance in their mystical colours of red and orange I remember how I was considered a flame. A flame that spread fire after it met gasoline. A fire that burnt the capitol, that rebelled against it's way. The gasoline was the arena, because once I met myself in the arena is when my flame truly began a wildfire. I was representing construction and rebellion. I started as a spark, soon struck into a flame by the hope of others. By the determination to stand up for what's right. The win was successful of course but with every win in life suffering must follow. Everything balances out in the end. And everyone had a price to pay after the rebellion. Suddenly I am withdrawn from my thoughts when Peeta enters the room with a tray. He sets it down on the coffee table. He then sits beside me with a very small amount of space between us. We both sit before the fire for warmth as snow scatters and layers the ground outside the bay window. Once he has taken his place beside me he says

"I didn't really know what you would like so I made a bit of everything"

On the tray there is a number of platters. There is soup, bread rolls, cheese buns, so much food that could last someone a month or two. I say

"Peeta you really didn't have to. I don't eat that much anyway........."

He interrupts, not in a rude manner though

"It's fine. I enjoy cooking"

I just nod, knowing that arguing is pretty much pointless. He will always win. So I just give him a small smile of gratitude which he returns. I then look away to prevent him seeing me blush. When his blue ocean eyes look right at me it's like of rush of electricity and adrenaline flows rapidly through my blood. It makes me feel alive. And his smile gives off such a glow of comfort and happiness you can't help but smile back. We then begin to eat. I settle for cheese buns and for the first time take only nibbles. Peeta eats some soup. By the time he's done he glances at my plate noticing how most of my meal is left. He looks at me concerned and asks

"Are you okay?"

I wipe my mouth lightly with a napkin and reply

"Yeah. Why?"

But you see I know why he's asking this. But when someone knows something that you don't want them to you try and avoid it. But you see I can't do that. Because this is Peeta. The person who knows me more than anyone else. He turns his body to me fully and says

"You're not eating"

I feel a lump form in my throat. I feel the words of the truth sit on my tongue, begging to be said to him. To tell him the truth is so tempting. But despite the urge and the want I manage to tell him simply

"I'm just not that hungry. I ate before I came so....."

I'm not great at lying and the way I said that showed. He raises an eyebrow at me but lets it pass. I know that if whatever 'this' between us is continues it will come back in a conversation again.

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The time flies and soon enough it's about nine o'clock. We spend the time watching a comedy on his projector whilst talking. Every time I forced out a laugh at the comedy so Peeta would know I'm enjoying it I could feel his eyes centred on me. At some points I would look at him and he would be looking at me with a grin on his face. It felt good to be with him for once without a fear nor worry on my mind. It's something that has come new to me. I am now getting ready to go, out in the hall putting my coat on when Peeta calls from the living room, his voice a littluneasy

"Katniss?"

I slip my arms through the sleeves of my coat and brush off the slushy snow still remaining on them. I reply from the hallway

"Yeah?"

I walk into the living room and find him looking out the window. I go over and stand next to him. I look out in the same direction as him. I whisper

"Oh no..."

We're snowed in.