What if?- A Mockingjay Story

Chapter 72

What if?

What if Gale has returned to 12 to ruin my life again? What if he is here to ruin things between me and Peeta? What if he still hasn't moved on? What if he will never move on? Never truly accept things how they are now? How they are between us... But what if he has accepted it? I highly doubt it...

What if? What if? What if?

---

I find my position stiff, my bow still raised and my arrow in line with his heart about 2 metres away. His arms remain in the air in surrender, they do not flop by his sides just yet. He jut looks at me, his eyes awaiting my next action. I don't move a muscle, I tell myself to lower the bow but my instinct, my mind turns me against it, freezing my body in place. Gale says to me calmly, his voice steady

"I'm not going to hurt you"

I find the words slipping from my mouth unconsciously as the bow drops down yet remains clutched at my side

"I know"

He steps a bit closer, my grip tightens on my bow only to find him sitting on the ledge of a rock. He looks out at the lake before glancing at me and gesturing me to sit beside him. At first I'm hesitant but then find my feet moving toward the rock before my mind is even fully made up. I sit beside him, my bow by my feet and a decent amount of space between us. For a while he just watches out across the lake, eventually saying to me without turning to face me

" I know you're probably wondering why I'm here......I'm here because.... I want to make things right. I want my hunting partner back"

He then looks at me, his whole expression giving off a sense of pleading, pleading for forgiveness, begging for a second chance. I say to him

"Okay... As long as you can control your feelings and not hurt me or my family I'm okay with that"

He nods, giving a small smile of relief and joy. He asks me

"Family?"

I explain

"Peeta. Haymitch and Effie are like parents to me, their kids are like my cousins. And of course there is Sophie..."

He raises his eyebrows

"Sophie?"

I lie to him

"We're fostering her, she's 3 years old"

He nods with realisation sparking in his chestnut eyes as he asks

"Parents killed in the rebellion?"

I reply

"I think so...."

I lie again. Because it's can't be true. Her father being dead... That could be true. Something I always thought. In the letters all I hear about is her mother so I guess I just automatically assumed her father wasn't alive. We spend a few hours talking more like this. He tells me about his life in district 2, how's he staying here for 2 weeks before going to district 4 to help with the construction of their new Harbour and Ferry system. As we continue the conversation I feel myself ease into it more, feel less uncomfortable and uneasy around him. Our last few encounters haven't been joyful, I didn't know how this one woulld turn out either. But Gale seems to have healed, not fully but come to accept the situation between us. That I will always love him as a brother rather than a husband or anything like that. We have moved on from what happened during the rebellion, it wasn't intentional. Things like that happen in war, the innocent are killed and the ones that remain are killed within. But us survivors have learned to revive, to heal ourselves, to become whole once more. I saw that in Gale today. I saw how much he changed, I saw a flash of the old Gale again. And for once it didn't crawl away, just stayed in the woods as he once did.
---
"Mummy Mummy Mummy!"

Sophie runs over to me and I pick her up into my arms. I plant a kiss on her cheek as I walk into the dining room, sitting her in her chair before her dinner. I then take a seat across from Peeta who hands me a plate, not saying anything yet. I know well there is something to be said, I'm home late after all. He's anxious, awaiting the moment when Sophie leaves the table. And when he does the exact moment I have predicted happens. He asks me

"How come you came back so late?"

There it is. That over protective side of him triggering again. It used to anger me, make me feel controlled but I soon realised I contain that side within me also. I tell him causally as I continue my dinner

"I met Gale"

I hear his fork drop from his hand. He doesn't say anything, just looks into the distance. The silence drags out for a long time until I eventually can't bear it. I ask him, placing my hand over his across the table

"What are you thinking?"

Suddenly he snaps back, pulling his hand away

"I don't know Katniss!"

I jump almost at the angered tone of his voice and watch as he pushed back his chair and walks out of the room. For a while I just sit at the table alone, debating on what to do. In the end I decide to leave him alone and spend the evening playing with Sophie.
---
I don't see him again until after Sophie is gone to sleep. I'm sitting on the couch, cleaning up her toys when I hear the soft creaking of the stairs. Footsteps approach the room and soon stop. I feel his presence, hear his breathing, feel his eyes lingering over me. I continue to pick up the toys, not daring to look back at him. As I finish up and walk over to the couch I accidentally meet his eyes across the room. As I sit down he says softly

"Hi"

His voice is calm, drained of the sudden anger that arose at the dinner table. He makes his way over, sitting on the opposite side of the couch. He says after a while

"I just want to know what happened between you two"

I look at him. I hold my stare into his eyes for a moment until the words begin to flow from my mouth and I look away as I speak

"Nothing. Nothing like what you think. We just got talking and you know it was nice. It felt like old times..."

Peeta looks at me and nods, slowly and gradually. After a while I move closer toward him, hand on his shoulder as I tell him

"Nothing will ever happen between us. You know that. I love you. I always will, okay?"

He nods, slowly leaning in to meet my lips to seal the always. He knows that nothing will ever happen between me and Gale. Me and Gale will forever love one another as siblings. But what Peeta and I have, it's something so strong and powerful... I will never leave him. Never let go of always. Always is forever. We are forever.